Samantha Bee opened her first new show in weeks on Wednesday night with a big update on the Robert Mueller investigation, from the heavily redacted Michael Flynn sentencing memo to the news that President Trump has finally submitted his written answers to the special counsel’s questions.
“Presumably it took so long because every other time he tried to answer them he got burger juice on them, and then tried to eat them,” the Full Frontal host joked. “He’s a hungry boy!”
If Mueller did set some sort of perjury trap for Trump, Bee said, “it is absolutely allowed,” adding, “Despite what you may have heard on Fox News, Mueller does not have to save Trump from incriminating himself.”
With that, Bee cut to a clip of Sean Hannity railing against what he is now referring to as “testi-lying.”
“No, testi-lying is how women have to pretend that balls aren’t gross,” she replied. “They look like Muppets and they taste like Muppets.”
“Anyway, what Hannity is talking about is lying to federal investigators and it is a crime,” Bee continued. “We don’t know if any of this will come back on Trump in the end, but at least a few more of the people who surround him will go to jail. And in the spirit of the holidays, let me just say, it is fun to watch these stooges squirm.”
Later, she added, “One Trump associate after the other is turning out to be in deep, deep trouble. So this holiday season, as the Trumps gather around the blood tree, Trump will probably be at least a little afraid that it will be his last Christmas in the White House.”
“Mueller Christmas, everyone,” the host signed off.