RISING TO THE OCCASION

SNL’s Colin Jost Takes on Olympics’ ‘Crotchgate’

There are allegations that ski jumpers are injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid in order to fly further

Saturday Night Live star Colin Jost has thrust himself into the potentially huge scandal engulfing the Milan-Cortina Winter Olympics: Crotchgate.

The “Weekend Update” co-host discussed allegations that ski jumpers are trying to gain an advantage by injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid while delivering his tongue-in-cheek take on the Games for NBC News’ coverage.

“I’ve been following crotchgate very closely. I’ve had my eye on all of the crotches,” Jost told Mike Tirico while covering the Games remotely from Lake Placid, New York. “I wanted to really get myself in the mindset. I’ve been injecting, I’d say maybe too much, hyaluronic acid.”

After displaying a number of headlines reporting on the Crotchgate controversy, the camera then cut back to a fully clothed Jost, with a comically large area of his lower half pixelated out.

“We’re gonna see if I can break all kinds of records. I might be able to jump all the way to Italy with this thing,” Jost added. “So watch out. Watch out, Olympians. I’m coming for you.”

German newspaper Bild first reported the allegations that ski jumpers have been injecting their private parts with the common filler used in cosmetic surgery in order to make their penises larger.

The idea behind the alleged scheme is that jumpers would inject themselves with hyaluronic acid just before being measured for the suits they will use in competition. If the groin area is even one or two centimeters bigger, this would increase the surface area of the suit and potentially help the Olympicans stay in the air longer, giving them an aerodynamic advantage.

EVERY INCH MATTERS

Winter Olympians Accused of Injecting Own Penises With Acid

Vic Verbalaitis

As noted by International Ski and Snowboard Federation Ski Jumping Men’s Race Director Sandro Pertile: “Every extra centimeter on a suit counts. If your suit has a 5 percent bigger surface area, you fly further.

“Of course, this is a competitive sport and everyone’s on the limit with the rules because everyone wants to win.”

The World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) said it will investigate the claim that ski jumpers are making their penises bigger to help them jump further.

However, WADA Director General Olivier Niggli does not appear to have been fully briefed on the situation. “I am not aware of the details of ski jumping, and how that could improve performance,” he told a press conference at the Games.

Ewan PalmerReporter

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