BLIND LOVE

SNL’s Trump Exploits Syria Strike: ‘What a Difference 59 Tomahawk Missiles Can Make’

In the ‘Saturday Night Live’ cold open this week, Alec Baldwin’s Trump went to Kentucky to remind voters why they love him so much.

Donald Trump may be a wartime president now, but that doesn’t mean Saturday Night Live is taking it any easier on him.

Appearing before a crowd of his supporters in Boone County, Kentucky, Alec Baldwin’s Trump was quick to remind them how good his week had been. “I had an amazing week, folks. I met with leaders from China, Egypt and Jordan. Gorsuch was confirmed, the media is saying nice things about me and no one is talking about Russia. Wow, what a difference 59 Tomahawk missiles can make.”

“I know how hard it is out there for you. Things have changed so much since I was growing up. For example, a lot of poverty is white now. Is that crazy?” Trump added. But as much as he tried to keep the discussion to his bombing raid in Syria, the Kentucky voters kept wanting to talk about things like jobs and Obamacare.

“God, I love coal. You guys have suffered terribly, worse than anyone and as president I promise I am going to do everything I can to make sure you people work in coal for the rest of your lives,” Trump said. “And your kids will work in coal and your grandkids and it's going to be incredible.”

“In Trump's America, men work in two places: coal mines and Goldman Sachs,” the president added, before blaming House Speaker Paul Ryan for failing to fix the health care system and randomly calling for Susan Rice to be jailed. “I don’t know who that is,” one man said in response.

One after the next, however, the Trump voters said they were sticking by their president. “That's why I came here,” he told them. “You stand by me no matter what. It’s like you found a finger in your chili, but you still eat the chili because you told everyone how much you love chili. It's tremendous.”