Stephen Colbert takes one week off and President Donald Trump decides to bomb Syria. Or was it Iraq?
“Obviously, when you’re bombing another country, that’s a decision that you take very seriously,” the Late Show host said in his first monologue back from break Monday night. “So he did it in the Situation Room will all available intel.” Colbert took a pause before adding, “I’m just kidding.”
As we later found out from a “hard-hitting” interview with Fox Business host and noted Trump booster Maria Bartiromo, Trump shared news of the strike with Chinese leader Xi Jinping over “the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake” imaginable. “When did you bomb those people, before dessert?” Colbert asked, mocking Bartiromo. “What’s the proper wine pairing with a cruise missile?”
“Yes, they were eating beautiful chocolate cake, classic war story,” Colbert added, before imagining Winston Churchill eating sweets while preparing the British people for World War II. But worse than his focus on the cake was Trump’s assertion that he had sent 59 Tomahawk missiles to Iraq. Bartiromo had to correct him, saying that the missiles went to Syria.
“Whoopsie-bobsies, oopsie-cadabera!” Colbert said in response. “I got the wrong country. Hey, it’s adorable.” Before the next war starts, he suggested South Korea “break out the spray paint” and tag “The Good Korea (do not bomb)” where Trump can see it.