UNDER THE BUS
Stephen Colbert: Michael Cohen Proved Loyalty to Trump Is a Felony
‘Yes, his only crime was being loyal to Donald Trump, which we now know is a felony,’ the ‘Late Show’ host said of Cohen.
“There has been, just today, another big decision in the landmark case of Donald Trump v. Getting’ Caught,” Stephen Colbert said at the top of his Late Show monologue Wednesday night.
He was of course referring to the sentencing of Michael Cohen to three years in prison. The host advised President Trump’s former fixer to “walk up to the biggest guy in the yard” on his first day behind bars and “pay him $130,000.”
“Before Cohen climbed up on the prison bus, he made sure to throw Trump under it,” Colbert said, quoting Cohen, who told the court, “Recently the president tweeted a statement calling me ‘weak,’ and it was correct, but for a much different reason than he was implying. It was because time and time again, I felt it was my duty to cover up his dirty deeds.”
“And evidently, you suck at it,” Colbert added.
“Now, Cohen bared his tortured soul, saying, ‘My weakness can be characterized as a blind loyalty to Donald Trump,’” the host said. “Yes, his only crime was being loyal to Donald Trump, which we now know is a felony.”
“The good news is, Cohen isn’t under Trump’s teeny, tiny thumb anymore,” Colbert continued, noting that the lawyer said he has been liberated from the “personal and mental incarceration” of working for the president. “That’s how bad working for Donald Trump is,” he said. “Michael Cohen is happy to trade ‘metaphor jail’ for jail.”
“He went on rather poetically, ‘The irony is today is the day I am getting my freedom back,’” Colbert said, quoting Cohen once more. “Actually, the irony is that while you’re in prison for your crimes, the guy who ordered you to do the crimes will be at Mar-a-Lago sharing chocolate cake with Xi Jinping and Kid Rock.”