After spending the first bit of his monologue Tuesday night on Michael Flynn’s sentencing, Stephen Colbert moved on to something a little “closer to home.”
Five months after he delivered a serious message to viewers about the sexual misconduct allegations against his then-boss, CBS Chairman Les Moonves, the Late Show host gave his audience an update on the “reason we all have to go through a sensitivity training.”
This week, after an investigation by CBS, the network determined that he was fired for cause and therefore will not receive his $120 million severance package. “I wonder what’s going to happen to all that money,” Colbert said. “$120 million. I’m pretty sure it goes to me. Do I get it? I get half of it. The other half goes to Tom Selleck’s mustache.”
“How on earth did Les Moonves think he’d get away with that?” the host asked of the former chairman’s apparent refusal to cooperate with the investigation. “Every show he greenlit for the last 20 years was about investigations! On the bright side, CBS has enough material for a new procedural: NCIS: Human Resources.”
“But don’t worry about Mr. Moonves,” he continued. “In the past 10 years, his compensation totaled more than $1 billion. $1 billion! What’s he going to do now? What job could a famous TV billionaire with sexual allegations possibly get… Oh... my... God!”
“He’d still be better,” Colbert offered.