“They did it! Obamacare is finally, officially dead!” Stephen Colbert said in his Late Show monologue Thursday night, before adding, “…is something they can say once the bill goes to the Senate then gets out of committee, is debated on the floor where amendments can be added, then the Senate votes on their bill, which is sent to the conference committee where the differences between the two bills are ironed out, then voted on in the House and Senate again, the sent to the White House for the president to sign.”
Colbert was openly mocking the very “premature” celebration that happened in the White House Rose Garden after House Republicans managed to narrowly pass their Obamacare repeal and replace bill along party lines. “Which is why Republicans were chanting, ‘We’re number one… third of the way through a very complex process!’” the host joked.
Even though they “haven’t accomplished anything yet,” Trump and his party spent the afternoon celebrating. Besides the cases of beer spotted rolling into Capitol Hill, Colbert said they also dined on “unhatched chickens.” In fact, there was “so much food,” he added, “they had to bring it in on cart before a horse.”
And then there was White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, who was quoted as saying, “The president stepped up and helped punt the ball into the end zone.” (The reporter later clarified that he may have said “punch,” not punt.)
“Accurate, because it gets you zero points and gives your opponent good field position,” Colbert said in response. But he had an even better metaphor: “The GOP just kicked America in the balls.”