“While the president is making it harder for people to enter the U.S., his Confederate house elf, Jeff Sessions, is planning to make life easier for certain Americans who are already here.”
That’s how The Daily Show’s Trevor Noah opened his Tuesday night segment tackling a New York Times report revealing that Sessions’ Justice Department plans to dedicate its civil rights division resources toward “investigating and suing universities over affirmative action admissions policies deemed to discriminate against white applicants.”
In late June, the Supreme Court upheld a lower court ruling recognizing the value of affirmative action. “Considerable deference is owed to a university in defining those intangible characteristics, like student body diversity, that are central to its identity and educational mission,” wrote Justice Kennedy in an opinion.
“Finally! You know how many times I go to colleges and say, ‘Hey! Where’s all the white people?’” joked Noah of the Sessions news. “If American colleges were any whiter, Jon Snow would build a wall to protect us from them.”
Noah then cited a Washington Post/ABC News poll from last March concluding that 54 percent of Trump voters think white people face more discrimination than black or Hispanic people.
“Look, I know a lot of white people have real problems, but to hear them saying, ‘You know, us whites have it worse than black people,’ it’s like, where? In the sun?!” Noah exclaimed.
“This is just madness,” he added.
The late-night host then brought out correspondents Roy Wood Jr. and Jordan Klepper to debate the Justice Department news.
“For way too long, white people have lived as second-class citizens,” joked Klepper. “Look at our culture! Just this year, a black movie literally pried the Oscar out of the hands of a white movie—a movie that had the guts to tell the story about how Ryan Gosling invented jazz.”
Cue Wood Jr.: “I’m like Jordan: I agree with Jeff Sessions. If white people are being discriminated against, we’ve got to look into this injustice. People being blocked from getting into colleges just because of the color of their skin cannot be tolerated in America.”
“And, if anyone has been discriminated against, Jeff Sessions and his Justice Department needs to go in and seek compensation for those victims,” Wood Jr. continued, clearly referring to African-Americans. “And it’s not just enough to right the wrongs of today—we’ve got to go back. We’ve got to go way back. I’m talking hundreds of years. And I agree with Jordan Klepper: reparations for all victims of discrimination.”