NOT HAVING IT

‘The Daily Show’s’ Michelle Wolf Destroys GOP Senate’s All-Male Health Care Panel

‘I’m not sure this is a bill as much as it’s a line from a Notorious B.I.G. song,’ Michelle Wold told Trevor Noah.‘Republicans were just like, ‘F*ck bitches, get money.”

After House Republicans finally managed to pass their Zombie Trumpcare bill, Mitch McConnell assembled a 13-member panel to draft the Senate’s response that just happens to include zero women. The Daily Show contributor Michelle Wolf is pissed.

“I’m not sure this is a bill as much as it’s a line from a Notorious B.I.G. song,” Wolf told host Trevor Noah. “Republicans were just like, ‘Fuck bitches, get money.’”

Showing the photos of the 13 male senators who will write the new legislation, she added, “That doesn’t look like the panel that protects women. That looks like the panel that says, ‘Well, she drowned, guess she wasn’t a witch. Throw in another one!’”

“Thirteen white guys and no women?!” Wolf exclaimed, pointing out that the panel contains two Mormons, but not one female senator, “which is weird for Mormons, because usually they want extra women.”

And to the House Republicans, who in their bill made it so women with “irregular periods” could receive a “pre-existing condition” label, Wolf said, “Quick glimpse into a lady’s life: Every period is an irregular period. It’s not like a paycheck where it arrives on the same day every month.”

To solve this problem, she suggested women show up in Congress and talk about their periods. “The men will disappear like a boner when you smell Grandma,” she said. “And then us women can handle this shit ourselves. And don’t worry, congressmen, under our plan, we’ll cover assholes.”