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The Fringe Factor: Grover Norquist is a Muslim?

A rundown of this week’s crackpot theories from our fearless political leaders.

Grover Norquist Is a Secret Muslim

How do you spot a Muslim? A beard is usually a good tip-off. That’s how Cathie Adams, former chairman of the Texas Republican Party and current president of the Texas arm of the conservative interest group Eagle Forum, unmasked Grover Norquist. Adams explained at a Tea Party event this week that the anti-tax lobbyist is part of a “stealth jihad” being carried out in the U.S. “As you see, he has a beard. He’s married [to] a Muslim woman,” she said. “But he denies that he has converted himself. He denies that.” Norquist isn’t the only prominent figure involved in this secret jihad. Adams suggested clean-shaven CIA Director John Brennan could very well be an undercover Muslim as well. “Where is the outcry?” she demanded. “Thank God that Ted Cruz is now in the United States Senate!”

Memo to the GOP: Forget About Hispanic Voters

Speaking of Eagle Forum, the group’s founder gave the Republican Party a helpful tip this week: forget about Hispanic voters. The idea that the GOP needs to court the Latino vote is “a great myth,” Phyllis Schlafly said on the conservative radio show Focus Today. Instead, the party needs to home in on the people they actually have a chance of winning over: white people. “The propagandists are leading us down the wrong path,” she said. “There’s not any evidence at all that these Hispanics coming in from Mexico will vote Republican.”

Detroit Judge’s Bad Behavior? Blame It on the Hypomania

It’s a little hard to follow the story of Wade McCree, the suspended Detroit judge currently being tried for misconduct for having an affair with a woman whose child support lawsuit he was also presiding over. But according to his doctor, the questionable behavior sprang from McCree's hypomania, a symptom of bipolar disorder that consists of racing thoughts and rapid talkativeness, high sex drive, distractibility, and other delusional or reckless behavior. During his first testimony on Tuesday, McCree admitted to the affair, providing more than enough details about his relationship with Geniene LaShay Mott, how he got her number from her case file, impregnated her, and even enlisted the help of his wife to pretend that he was getting a divorce in order to convince her to get an abortion. But when he took the stand again this week, McCree’s memory of their affair seemed significantly fuzzier; first he looked dazed while providing mixed answers to simple questions, then he became visibly irritated. So what’s up with McCree’s weird behavior? Blame hypomania.

Don’t All Politicians Buy Their Staff Gag Gifts From Adult Stores?

South Carolina State Sen. Robert Ford resigned Friday amid a Senate Ethics Committee review into accusations that he did some personal shopping—including picking up a few things from adult stores—with campaign funds. The 20-year senator had spent the previous night in the hospital due to cardiovascular problems, according to his lawyer, and maintained that the adult-store purchases were simply gag gifts for people working on his campaign and certainly not illegal. Still, Ford explained in his resignation letter, he wasn’t up to defending himself. “If I was ten years younger, I would stay and fight. But at this point in my life, I feel this is the best decision for everyone concerned.”

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Caitlin Dickson

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