‘The President Show’s’ Trump Rubs Health Care Win in America’s ‘Sick’ Face

It’s week two of The President Show on Comedy Central and star Anthony Atamanuik’s Donald Trump impression is only getting better. After going existential in his premiere last week, the president returned on Thursday night to continue his premature victory lap after House Republicans actually managed to pass a bill to repeal and replace Obamacare.

Announcing the news from his podium, Trump received boos from his late-night studio audience. “I know, I know, I hated it too,” he said. “We’re celebrating bigly. I just came from a rager in the Rose Garden and Paul Ryan did a keg stand. I told him, be careful, Paul, you don’t want to get hurt, and then we laughed and laughed because this law won’t apply to us.”

Trump’s theme for the night was “surprise.” And “surprise is everywhere,” he said, “on the faces of religious leaders when I start talking about the Bible and the eyes of young women whose dressing rooms I barge into and in the blank stares of the millions of people who just found out they’re about to lose their health care.”

Asked what he has to say to those millions of Americans who will lose their health insurance if the new bill becomes law, Trump said, “Nothing. I don’t care. I don’t know any of those people, why would I talk to them?”

While he admitted the previous version of the bill left 24 million without coverage, according to the Congressional Budget Office, Trump said they “fixed it” this time around by not letting the CBO score it at all.

“See? I’m getting the hang of this. Surprise!” he added. “I say you’re going to get sick of winning and now that we’re winning, you’re definitely going to get sick.”