Assuming there's no cover charge, would you go see a band called HAMMER SAMPLE? How about NAAN KOREA? BOBA CLARK?
Fortunately, you don't have to make this decision, since none of these bands actually exist; their names were formed from adjacent entries in last week's puzzles. HAMMER SAMPLE was 2- and 3-Down from Tuesday's, puzzle for instance.
“Crossword Band Names” is actually a thing -- check out @sapientfuton on Twitter if you don't believe me. Playing on the randomness of neighboring crossword puzzle entries, which are paired not based on meaning but rather on how their letters interlock, we find some eerily good band names, often just from reading the two or three entries across on a random row.
Let's see how well it works. I picked a random recent New York Times puzzle (Tuesday, March 2nd, whose solution you can see here) and I'll see what the best three rows yield. And they are:
TAN ICEPICK XER
PBS UNMADE SYD
AUTO STONER TAR
OK, I admit those are pretty awful. I'm talking "Toad the Wet Sprocket" awful. If you can do better, tweet them to #beastxword. Be sure to link to the puzzle you sourced your band from, and if you hit it big I want free tickets.
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