Hello, Wisconsin!

America’s Drunkest States

New study shows where we drink the most, and who’s doing it.

A new study has been released that tells us a lot about our nation’s drinking habits. Which states drink a lot? Which house the most teetotalers? Where do you fall? See below:

Yankees Drink More Than Southerners.

After Wisconsin, with cold winters and an abundance of cheese curds to fuel long, dark nights trying to keep toes from falling off with a little booze and a bunch of blankets, the next booziest is Washington, D.C., which isn't actually a state but where where intense partisan friction and a notorious round robin of cocktail parties keep residents tipsy. Next up are the New England states, who have bucked their Puritanical roots and are making up for lost time.

On the sober tip, Utah—with its staunch anti-imbibing populace and laws designed to make it hard to get a full strength beeris unsurprisingly at the bottom of the booze barrel. But then, these are just people who have had one drink in the past month. What if we move on to the more serious imbibers? Men who have more than two drinks a day, say? Well, things change, but only a little bit.

Wisconsin, We’re Starting To See A Pattern

The cold heart of the Midwest again leads the charge here, with Wisconsin edging out D.C. and its legion of stress-drinking politicians drowning their consciences and common sense on lobbyists’ never-ending bar tabs. New England takes a bump to Montana, where cowboys have a long tradition of getting drunk under the big skies, and Oregon, which is just passing time waiting for its legal weed to kick in on July 1. Vermont is in fifth place, but don’t worry—it’s all heady microbrews and organic booze consumed while spinning in circles at Phish shows. Tennessee is the least drunk here, and I can’t help but question the accuracy of it. Have you ever been to Nashville?

Binge Drinking

All right, it’s intervention time for the cheeseheads. (Although, if Scott Walker were my governor, I’d probably be chugging Mad Dog by the gallon, too.) Classified as “adult men having five or more drinks on one occasion or adult women having five or more drinks on one occasion,” the basis for binge drinking seems a little tenuous. Don’t most people tend to blow through five drinks on a weekend night out? No? Hmmm… Well, the CDC says 17 percent of Americans binge drink, and the worst of it is once again in the Midwest, with four of the top five states hailing from our nation’s apparently groggy center. D.C. is still No. 2. But, again, politicians. Or people who have to deal with politicians. Who can blame ’em? The South and Utah are again at the bottom of the pile, with Tennessee, Alabama, Arkansas, and West Virginia STDHs at the rest of us.

Age and Race Play A Roll In Drinking

Here’s a handy GIF chart to show you how age and race factor in to how much we drink. If you happen to be in Wisconsin, you may need to step back from the computer and squint to focus. Yes, there is only one chart, and yes, it is moving. We all see it.

For more information and numbers, click here.