Word of the Week: Kookah
What the ladies of the Real Housewives of New Jersey call a “ chucky,” the Jersey Shore roommates refer to as a “kookah.” The Snooki-coined colloquialism for a female’s nether regions was introduced in Thursday night’s episode after Paulie D attempted to wake up the smallest cast member in time for her manicure appointment. As she drags herself out of bed (literally) and plops her 4’11” frame down on a beanbag chair, she whines, “My kookah’s out.” Later on, as her best friend J-Woww touches up her roots (these two are up on their grooming), the two discuss previous injuries to their private parts. “I have had accidents,” J-Woww admits, and the two share their bike and house-related “kookah” injuries. “I thought I broke my vagina bone,” Snooki reminisces. “It’s terrible.”
No Ropa Para Situation
In an attempt to adapt to their new Miami home for Season Two, the Jersey Shore cast is learning some Spanish. After getting their G and T (gym and tan) on, the boys move on to pick up their L (laundry). But the cleaners seemingly don’t have The Situation’s clothes (or “ropa,” as the Spanish-speaking cleaner refers to it). “No ropa para Situation,” the adorable employee explains. She tries to jog the often-intoxicated cast member’s memory that he picked up his clothes yesterday. “Remember, Situation?” she asks. This is what drinking at places called Klutch on a nightly basis will do to you.
Snooki’s Foot Fetish
The bed hopping on Jersey Shore has certainly been outrageous. But this week, viewers got closer to a cast threesome than ever before. With J-Woww’s boyfriend Tom in town, the two attempted to make sure their roommate Snooki was fast asleep in her bed before they got down to business. Though she appeared to be out, a “piss drunk” Snooki grabs on to the couple’s feet and the covers to see what all the shaking is about. When she realizes what they’re doing, Snooki is seemingly embarrassed, says “I love you” and “Sorries,” and jumps into Vinny’s bed—Vinny initially not included.
T-Shirt Time Gets Musical Accompaniment
MTV producers should reconsider Ronnie, Vinny, Paulie, and The Situation’s musical number from this week’s episode for the series’ permanent theme song. Earlier this season on Jersey Shore, Paulie and The Situation explained that “T-shirt time” is the point in the evening at which a guido changes from his wife-beater tank tops (aka “the shirt before the shirt”) into his (ideally Ed Hardy-esque) T-shirt for the night right before it’s time to leave. In Thursday’s episode, the men of the house gave the momentous event a song. Though the lyrics were limited, (“It’s T-shirt time… Everybody knows it’s T-shirt time”) they made their point. “I’m just trying to let everybody know so they put their T-shirts on,” Paulie explains.
Floral Secondhand Arrangements
What better way to say “I love you” than with flowers your roommate got for a girl who stood him up and tossed on a bed where half of your roommates have had sex with people they barely knew? Ronnie truly is a gentleman. After Vinnie’s “dream girl” flakes out on their date, Ronnie decides to put his wooing tactics to good use. He goes into the “smoosh room”—as those who’ve been watching Season Two know, it’s the only room with a non-twin bed, roomy enough for fooling around in privacy—picks up the flowers, tosses some money on the bed, and brings the bouquet out for his on-again-off-again girlfriend and fellow Jersey Shore cast member Sam. “God only knows what’s on these because they were just on the bed for three hours,” he explains. “You got my children on there, Mike’s children… you got Snooki juice.” Sam seemingly was not thirsty, or amused.
Jaimie Etkin is an assistant culture editor at The Daily Beast. She has also written for Us Weekly and Radar.