Prince Harry finally arrived back in London late last night after four months away, and although he insisted he would be having a quiet reunion with his brother and Kate behind closed doors, we just know it won't be long till the playboy Playstation prince is out on the town again.
The town’s nightclub promoters are crossing their fingers and toes and hoping that, when he does hit the nightlife circuit, theirs will be the club with which Prince Harry will celebrate his return to active partying duty.
So where is he likely to go? And, given that the 28-year-old Prince has once again been lamenting the difficulty of finding a suitable bird—“I don’t think you can ever be urged to settle down. If you find the right person and everything feels right, it takes time. Me and my brother, ain’t ever going to find someone that would jump into the position,” he said in his BBC interview—who will be on his arm?
Since Harry left town, the London toff’s nightclub scene has been shaken up as thoroughly as one of Bond’s martinis by the arrival of Bodo’s Schloss, a ski lodge-themed bar and nightclub located a stone’s throw from Harry’s digs in Kensington Palace. The club—which would be the natural choice if Harry wants to snog some random fresh posh totty—opened after Harry left for Afghanistan, but it’s no secret that the venue has been quietly building itself into the perfect Harry play pen.
The ironic thematics—has anything ever been less cool than Austria?—extend to its nightly club nights which are advertised as a ‘disco’. Sunday Times literary hit man AA Gill described it as “a wooden basement that looks like a cross between Hansel and Gretel’s sauna and Fritzl’s romper room” (and this, my friends, was a rave review).
Patrons celebrated New Year with a ‘lederhosen and ski-wear’ party, which is very Prince Harry. The house speciality is a shot-ski—a wooden ski holding a dozen shot glasses. Harry will no doubt be itching to try the place out. It could be the ideal location to run into wildchild Cara Delevingne, 20, the Victoria’s Secret model who is also the face of Burberry and Chanel. Cara’s grandmother was a lady-in-waiting to Princess Margaret, so protocol wouldn’t be too much of a problem.
Bodo’s is owned by the famous three kings of London nightlife, Piers Adam, Nick House and Guy Pelly (who is a personal pal of Harry’s, having gone to school with him). The trio also own other hangouts favored by the Young Royals, including Mahiki, a Hawaiian-themed joint on Dover Street and Whisky Mist on Hertford Street, in the Shepherd’s Market area of Mayfair. Harry has been photographed coming out of Mahiki in various stages of dishevelment over the years. Any of these venues would be a good spot to hook up with Susanna Warren, a blonde ex-girlfriend of Pelly’s who is very much a member of the inner circle already.
Whisky Mist is itself just around the corner from 5 Hertford Street, a private members club established by celebrated London host Mark Birley (of Annabel’s and Mark’s Club fame). 5 Hertford Street is a lavishly decorated, multi-roomed restaurant and bar as popular with newspaper editors and celebrities as it is with royals and extended members of the royal crowd such as Ben Eliot and Tom Parker-Bowles. It occupies a prime corner spot of real estate, and is also home to an in-house nightclub called LouLou’s, popular with Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie. The steak—served on a dish without veg or potato—is legendary in London.
5 Hertford Street and/or LouLou’s would be the ideal venue of choice if Harry wants to organize a date with Cressida Bonas, the blonde beauty he was seeing before his departure to the front line. According to Catherine Ostler at the Daily Mail she has held the title of ‘girlfriend-in-waiting’ while Harry has been away. Cressida is also pals with Harry’s super-rich mate Arthur Landon, and her discretion is assured.
For a boys night out with his pal David Beckham who is also back in London, Harry used to be a big fan of the revamped Arts Club in Mayfair, but apparently hasn’t been back there since he puked up in the corridor while making a dash for the toilets back in June on a night out with Eugenie.
Undoubtedly this piece of embarrassing unpleasantness would be mopped under the carpet and Harry would be welcomed back with open arms should he decide to venture forth. But he is truly unlikely to make a stop at Dukebox, with friends saying he was unimpressed by proprietor Howard Spooner, former proprietor of the truly ghastly Public on King’s road, touting his name for business when the club launched.
The Brompton Club in Chelsea remains a firm favourite with the young royal crowd—it was here that Harry was photographed chatting to Lady Missy Percy (who has since got engaged to his pal Tom Van Straubenzee) as she smoked a fag in the grotty stairwell, and might be the perfect place to hook up with Lady Natasha Howard.
The bad news for Harry is that both Chelsy Davy and Flee Brudenell-Bruce have got new boyfriends.
One place he probably won't go to let his hair down? Las Vegas, naked, with a bunch of girls he just met in the casino downstairs.
Sixty years and hardly a slip.