Apathetic

03.10.14

Everything You Need to Know About Justin Bieber’s Deposition

Quotes, taken completely out of context, from the only deposition that matters to Beliebers.

“Well, I don’t know Katie Couric, you tell me?” That gem is from Justin Bieber’s deposition, which the pop star says feels like a 60 Minutes interview. (Clearly he hasn’t watched the show in a while.) The 4.5 hour session happened last Thursday in Miami, and is in the lawsuit about his bodyguard reportedly roughing up a photographer. And you thought it was that whole drag racing under the influence fiasco.

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“I don’t have to listen to anything you say.”

“I don’t know if I’ve been to Australia. I been to Australia?”

“What kind of question is that? That didn’t make sense. Doesn’t make sense. That’s a weird question, that doesn’t make sense.”

“You know, you know I didn’t finish, I didn’t finish. Oh, oh really? You didn’t want to interrupt?”

“This is a film? This is a film? You said it’s a film. You said watch the film. Is this a film? Is this a film? Yes.”

“Disciplined. What kind of question is that? Is he my son? Well, guess what, guess what? I don’t recall.”

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“Yeah, Usher, that sounds familiar.”

“I was found on YouTube. I think that I was detrimental to my own career.”

[30 seconds later]

“Instrumental.”

“Is this an interview or a deposition, I’m confused.”

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“Journalism. This isn’t journalism?”

“Don’t ask me about her again. Don’t, don’t, don’t ask me about her again. Don’t ask me about her again. Don’t ask me about her again. Don’t ask me, don’t ask me about her again. Don’t ask me about her again. Don’t ask me…about her…again.”