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Why Madge Got Bored
Glenn Weiner/Zuma
When Madonna married Ritchie, she bought into the British package of posh country weekends and edgy London nightlife. Then Ritchie lost his edge.
“Who would have thunk it,” said Madonna somewhat presciently when discussing her marriage to Guy Ritchie a couple of years ago. “The last thing I thought I would do is marry some laddish shooting pub-going nature lover.” So too did most of her friends. I remember one of her first New York producers telling me that when he knew the Material Girl in her skanky downtown days she was a vegetarian. “Now she is out shooting birds,” he said. “I’ll give it five years before she moves on.” That pronouncement was made in 2002.
While he was a couple of years off target, the announcement that Madonna and her man are divorcing came as no surprise to those in her circle. ‘It wasn’t a matter of ‘if’ but ‘when’,’ a well-placed friend told a London tabloid. A drinking friend of Ritchie’s recently remarked to me that the last time they had a beer together he spent an inordinate amount of time flirting, doubtless innocently, with the bar maid. “I think that tells you all you need to know about the state of their marriage,” his friend observed.
In the end was it all just an elaborate game of dress up, a rollicking charade that was great fun while it lasted?
In the beginning though London society swooned over Madonna, the queen of reinvention crowned ‘Her Madgesty’ by the fawning glitterati. For she was not just marrying a man, she was taking on a country and like some character in a Henry James novel willing herself to embrace their curious customs and outdoor pursuits. The British loved the fact that she proved such a jolly good sport. Like the Queen Mother before her, she became an adopted National Treasure, the girl from the Midwest treated and behaving like royalty.
Or at the very least like a member of British aristocracy. Perhaps the rigid and codified British way of living—hunting is done in fine tailoring, a weekend in the country can involve three changes of clothes in a day, none of them into sweatpants—appealed to the control freak in Madonna. It soon became apparent that the wedding in a remote Scottish baronial lodge, with kilts, crinolines and morning shooting parties was not just an indulgence. She went from dominatrix to dowager, swapping her D & Gs for sensible brogues, her sexy leather and lace for tweeds and twin sets. She took to calling herself Mrs. Guy Ritchie, rounded out her vowels and learned how to drink pints of real ale in the local public house—just like one of the lads. ‘Here to see the wife?’ Ritchie said to one startled writer, as if she was some downtrodden house frau not the woman who had empowered a generation of young women to “respect yourself” and think bigger.
The transformation seemed to be complete when she and Guy bought the 1000 acre country estate once owned by celebrated royal photographer Cecil Beaton whose contribution to history was to turn the dowdy House of Windsor into a vision of lush unattainable romance. Who said Madonna invented reinvention? Perhaps appropriately the girl who had once outraged the Vatican was captured for Vogue magazine feeding the chickens in the gardens of her country seat. She looked a tad self conscious in her beige twin set. As well she might. In all her many guises, her impersonation of the Duchess of Devonshire’s maiden aunt was the most difficult act to swallow.
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Madge is like any 50 year old. She looked in the mirror and saw the wrinkles and the body that isn't what it used to be. Her answer to the natural progression in life? Surgery and to find someone new to tell her how good she looked. Sad really as I always thought of her as a strong woman only to find out that she isn't.
Who can predict what we will feel like when we're 'of a certain age'? I think celebrities are just more honest and 'out there' with their feelings. I wish both of them the best of luck in their lives and hope they find what they're looking for. I think she's strong for being honest.
I wonder who will get custody of her British accent?
It is always sad when celebrities, who seem happy, decide to divorce. Some might say, who didn't see it coming? In my opinion how could the sex icon of the nineties turn into a British golden woman? I wish them and their children all the best of luck in the future.
It was definitely time for Madonna to move on.Can we stop calling her "Madge" now?
It is unfair for Morton to characterize Madonna as not having to struggle in New York when she got her start. Nobody is as successful as she is without lots of blood sweat and tears. And as for coming from a well-to-do father, that is a little disingenuous as his upper-middle income salary supported a family of just under ten. And to simplify the end of her marriage to Ritchie the way Morton has is ridiculous. Perhaps it ended for the same reasons other marriages don't work - shit happens. Life is that way.. especially when both parties are in the entertainment industry, one of which who is arguably the world's biggest superstar. I give Madonna a lot more credit than Morton does.
I wonder, now that she is dumping Guy, the poor guy, will she also dump that phony British accent?
Of course, she got bored. Madonna hasn't a clue to who she really is. She has no style. She adopts hair colors, husbands, and lifestyles the way she adopts the latest fashions no matter how ugly.
The only Madonna persona which suited her was her adoption of Marlene Dietrich's moves.
It's silly rich women with no sense of self who dress like Russian peasants one year, 12 year old girls the next and astronauts the year after that.
Women -- and men -- who work in fashion usually have a sense of style which doesn't change: Armani, Calvin Klein. Even Ralph Lauren who has created Wasp style, Southwest style and Safari style has created styles not fashion.
With Madonna there is no there there.
There is a song on her new album "Hard Candy" called "Miles Away" that contains the line "you only love me miles away..." I think that in a nutshell explains the differences and dysfunction this marriage was bound to have from the day they became husband and wife. Madonna, all powerful, all controlling, decisive, wealthy beyond compare and an iconic stature that most men could not match. Guy Ritchie thought he could tame the shrew and has ended up just another one of her entourage, her bitches. Guy is seemingly your typical, pub-crawling, soccer-loving, manly British man with ambitions and drive to be a film director. His first 2 movies were modest hits but the rest have all flopped miserably. He must feel like a failure compared to the woman he chose to marry. If he wanted a geisha girl, he should have gone to Japan and found a subservient woman who would do his bidding. Madonna does no one's bidding. His ego, pride and masculinity have all been tested and he obviously could not stand his wife's continued success while his spiraled downwards. Unfortunately for Madonna, I do not think there is a man alive who could be her husband and be happy with just that. As for the settlement, Guy has an estate worth 35 million separately from her and has not really contributed to her bank account in any major way. Did he co-write songs, help create her hugely successful tours or give any advice or ideas for her to use? It seems like he stayed as far away from her as possible (i.e. "Miles Away"), not being supportive and certainly played no part in the continuation of her international fame and fortune. I hope her lawyers make sure he gets as little as possible. Madonna owes all of her success to herself and the creative people she surrounded herself with and not to the man who obviously wanted a woman at home, cooking dinner, barefoot and pregnant. Guy should concentrate on making "Sherlock Holmes" into a good movie instead of the violent crap he has passing off as cinema and leave the marriage silently with his tail tucked between his legs. If he tries to fight for half of her money, Madonna and lawyer will cut off what's left of his testicles and he'll wind up with less then what he could have gained.
Does this mean she is moving back to the U.S.? The best part, of her marriage to a Brit, was her move to the UK. The British can keep her.
Guy should have spoken to Sandra Bernhardt, Jellybean Benitez, Sean Penn, and Andy Bird. Remember, Andy Bird was her first choice.
She has no idea who she is. It's sad but I also "get it". It's part of our generation also, probably a little bit of someone who lost their mother early. She is past the mid point of her life I hope she finds some peace.
Yo, KingTV, I totally feel you on your comments, but there's way too much anger here. Save it for the important stuff, this is just too two people getting unhitched from each other :)
Mr. Morton,
I'm afraid you are in error. My husband's family was best friends with the Ciccone family, and he would tell you that Madonna was not born with a silver spoon in her mouth. She came from humble beginnings. Her early years were spent in Pontiac, Michigan with her five other siblings, in a house of approximately 1,000 sq. ft. After the death of her mother, her father remarried and had two additional children. He worked very hard to support all of them. Her stepmother started a day care business from their home (after they moved to Rochester). Rochester was and is a middle class neighborhood.
She should just do Vegas when the economy improves, of course and call it a day.
Thank you.
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