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Christopher  Buckley

The Old Zeitgeist Vs. the New Zeitgeist

President James Buchanan, President George W. Bush AP When did 401(k) statements replace waterboarding as the primary instrument of torture?

As the French saying goes, “Plus ça change, plus c’est la meme chose.” (Translation: “Is not our first lady hot?”) But is it really true that things never really change, they just stay the same? Herewith a guide to where things stand zeitgeist-wise as we usher in a new president, and with any luck, a new era. On reflection, perhaps the French have something there. They usually do.

 

 

Old

 

New

 

Worst U.S. President

 

Buchanan

 

Bush (II)

 

Reassuring African-American Leader

 

Colin Powell

 

Obama

 

Menacing Ruskie

 

Stalin

 

Putin

 

GOP Clotheshorse

 

Nancy Reagan

 

Sarah Palin

 

Toxic Substance

 

Asbestos

 

Collateralized Debt Obligation

 

Three Stooges

 

Moe, Larry, Curley

 

Detroit Auto CEOs

 

Spurious Casus Belli

 

Tonkin Gulf Incident

 

WMDs

 

Supremely Self-satisfied Talk Show Host

 

Bill O'Reilly

 

Keith Olbermann

 

Over-The-Top Crooked Pol

 

Duke Cunningham

 

Gov. Blagojevich

 

Eponymous/Onomatopoeic Financial Scoundrel

 

Ponzi

 

Madoff (MAY-Doff)

 

Martin Luther King Wept

 

Sharpton

 

Wright

 

Fugitive

 

Richard Kimball

 

Osama bin Laden

 

Wise Man

 

Greenspan

 

Buffett

 

Hunky Aussie

 

Russell Crowe

 

Hugh Jackman

 

Downed Aviator

 

Amelia Earhart

 

Steve Fossett

 

Oxygen-Depleting,Single-NamedBlonde Divorcée

 

Diana

 

Madonna

 

Caribbean Hell Hole

 

David's Island

 

Guantanamo

 

Sapphic TV Personality

 

Ellen de Generes

 

Rachel Maddow

 

Cancer Phobia

 

Cell phones

 

Bottled water

 

UnfortunateSanguinaryPhoto Op

 

Saddam Execution

 

Sarah Palin at Turkey Slaughterhouse

 

Illegal Substance

 

Meth

 

Canadian Lipitor

 

Guilty Pleasure

 

Downloading Napster

 

Leaving Lights On

 

High-minded Catchphrase

 

Compassionate Conservatism

 

Audacity of Hope

 

Cool Brit

 

Tony Blair

 

Boris Johnson

 

Politically Incorrect Gas guzzler

 

Hummer

 

Gulfstream

 

Texan Wind Bag

 

Ross Perot

 

T. Boone Pickens

 

Weirdo Actor

 

Christopher Walken

 

Joaquin Phoenix

 

Scary Weather Event

 

Perfect Storm

 

Katrina

 

Potty-Mouthed Illinois Pol

 

Rahm Emmanuel

 

Gov. Blagojevich

 

Repugnant African Despot

 

Idi Amin

 

Robert Mugabe

 

Crown Kennedy

 

Ted

 

Caroline

 

Cupcake

 

Sarah Jessica

 

Jen

 

$6 Million Book Advance

 

Colin Powell

 

Tina Fey

 

Ubiquitous Historian

 

Douglas Brinkley

 

Niall Ferguson

 

Hyper-Adoptive Actress

 

Mia Farrow

 

Angelina Jolie

 

Tantalizing Opener

 

Please to contact me most Very immediately re: $16 Mil Dollars (US) In Your Bank of Nigeria Acct!

 

In the event of an erection lasting more than four hours...

 

Creepy Pol

 

Larry Craig

 

Eliot Spitzer

 

Village Atheist

 

Madalyn Murray O'Hair

 

Christopher Hitchens

 

Hot Wheels

 

Boxster

 

Tesla

 

Frigid, Cash Strapped Landmass

 

Russia

 

Iceland

 

Presidential Reading

 

My Pet Goat

 

Team of Rivals

 

F--- You VP

 

Rockefeller

 

Cheney

 

Cute NASA Gizmo

 

Mars Rover

 

Orbiting Tool Box

 

Fun Clinton

 

Bill

 

Hillary

 

Torture Device

 

Water-board

 

401(k) Statement

 

Chicago G-Man

 

Eliot Ness

 

Patrick Fitzgerald

 

Hot First Lady

 

Carla Sarkozy

 

Michelle Obama

 

Christopher Buckley’s books include Supreme Courtship, The White House Mess, Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, and Florence of Arabia. His journalism, satire, and criticism has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Vanity Fair, Vogue, and Esquire. He was chief speechwriter for Vice President George H.W. Bush, and the founder and editor-in-chief of Forbes FYI.


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December 21, 2008 | 4:27pm
Comments ()
a2burns

chris i do like madonna along with your blogs !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! otherwise you are pretty much on the mark !!!!!!!!!!!! chris remember noblesse oblige !!!!!!!!!!!!

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5:47 pm, Dec 21, 2008
hammer

President who couldn't keep zipper up: Kennedy/Clinton

Biggest nepotism: Kim Jung Sung/Caroline Kennedy

Biggest financial lie : we have world class risk management/
we have enough capital

Stupidest energy comment : oil is going to $200/bbl / peak oil

Biggest hedge fund lie: we have smart people/ we have Bernie Made-off

Biggest NYT lie : all the news fit to print / no editorial bias

Worst vice president : Nixon/Cheney

Crookiest NYC pol : Boss Tweed/ Charlie Rangel

Oddiest blonde musician : Courtney Love/ Britney Spears

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7:09 pm, Dec 21, 2008
spinozareader

Uplifting Remedy for Golden Years: Geritol/ Viagra

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8:42 pm, Dec 21, 2008
Arundel

"Zeitgeist" is a tired 1980's clichè buzzword. Very Spy and VF of that era (though I admire the editor immensely.)

Kind of reductive - Rachel Maddow is "Sapphic"? Her being gay doesn't seem to have any bearing on why she's done well, or her job.

The reference points tossed off here seem sort of elderly, not quite with-it. The Internet moves at rapid speed, observing that Jolie likes to adopt , or Jen Aniston is cute is terrible.

Also: there are kids today who don't know what Napster was, it was that long ago.

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9:05 pm, Dec 21, 2008
jimmymac

New York senate candidate who has never held elective office, has a law degree from a prestigious law school, is an author, is devoted to children issues, has a famous last name, is closely related to a former Democratic president and is bigger than a bread box (I just threw that in): Hillary/Caroline

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9:27 pm, Dec 21, 2008
brakingnews

It felt odd that your sense of "now" and "then" changed from line to line. sometimes your "now" happened last week and other times it happened over 20 years ago. And then other times you referred to something as a "then" when it happened this year and other times when it was well over 40 years ago.

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11:23 pm, Dec 21, 2008
magicman

I'll take 'the number 6' for $200 ....

You are funny Buckley.

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1:52 am, Dec 22, 2008
bobdehn

I must disagree. Christopher Walken is still the ultimate Weirdo Actor. He could eat Joaquin Phoenix for breakfast without blinking the bulging, staring, crazy eyes....

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1:33 pm, Dec 22, 2008
Issywise

The important response to this article is to the use of the word "zeitgeist." This word has two "ei" combinations, neither of which comply with the rhyming spelling rule, "I" before "e," except after "c" or as sounded as "a" as in weigh."

There is no "c" and no "a" sound in zeitgeist. What is the point of memorizing spelling rules if words are allowed to ignore them?

Zeitgeist is a lawless word. Indeed, it does more, it flouts the laws of spelling--placing a thumb up to its nose and wiggling all of its other fingers at us. It is provocative--if you think about it. It is subversive to spelling good order and rationality.

Public officials once renamed whole people, even families, at Ellis Island if the pronunciation of their foreign names would vex Americans. Yet, we allow foreign words into our language without regard for the vexation their spelling might cause.

What kind of people are we?

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1:48 pm, Dec 22, 2008
justforf

New Zeitgeist is an oxymoron. In German, the word has more layers of meaning than the English translation, including the fact that Zeitgeist can only be observed for past events.
Dev

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3:18 pm, Dec 22, 2008
idiotking

Mr. Buckley, please tell me you did NOT mis-spell "Rockefeller." What is the world coming to... Bucklay.

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3:54 pm, Dec 22, 2008
theblender

Really....idiotking....that's pretty good, i missed it.
Mr. Buckley...love it! As always....

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7:27 pm, Dec 22, 2008
htiduj

as usual, i love everything you write!

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1:24 am, Dec 23, 2008
kblman

Hot stuff, buddy. I hadn't kept up with your blog lately and it's just as good as ever. Super funny and ultraliterate.

Steve Kimball

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7:21 pm, Dec 23, 2008
Londoner

Most readable current affairs satirist: Bernard Levin/Christopher Buckley.

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4:15 am, Dec 24, 2008
Issywise

Slippery, manipulative, opportunistic Democratic president interested only in self promotion............of you guy know.

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7:50 am, Dec 24, 2008
MaryscottOConnor

Are you suggesting that Osama bin Laden is... a fiction?

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10:56 am, Jan 4, 2009
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The Old Zeitgeist Vs. the New Zeitgeist

by Christopher Buckley

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