Hollywood's New Hot Diet

Eva Mueller / Getty Images From Oprah to Gwyneth, “cleansing” one’s body is the latest way to lose weight and stay healthy. Alexandra Polier tests the Coconut Cleanse—and reports on the joys (and cramps) of detoxing.

America has developed a fascination with body “cleanses” almost as obsessive as our fascination with the celebrities that make them famous. Thanks to stars like Angelina Jolie and Beyoncé, the Master Cleanse (cayenne pepper, maple syrup, and lemon for a week) is one of the hottest diet fads in Hollywood.

Gwyneth is a fan of juicing, Oprah is blogging about her vegan cleanse, and rumor has it that Ben Affleck, Cindy Crawford, Alicia Silverstone, and Liv Tyler are all regulars at their local colonic-irrigation clinic. Cleansing has driven millions of Americans to starve, detox, and irrigate their bodies, all with the promise of a lighter healthier you. But is it really good for you?

“I can smell baked goods wafting in from the apartment down the hall. I leave my building and immediately notice a cab with a Snickers ad on it. I want to chase it down Fifth Avenue.”

Alex Polier investigates with five days on the Coconut Cleanse, the latest craze in full-body flushing.

DAY 1. SATURDAY.

Why am I doing this to myself? Right, because everyone else is. Yes I am a lemming, and I have taken the plunge. Everyone I know is Master Cleansing or Blueprinting these days, anything to rid themselves of a few pounds and possibly a few small toys they may have swallowed as a child. If you ask these dedicated cleansers, they all speak with such glorious recollection. Listening to my friend Bonnie speak about her Master Cleanse experience—the boundless energy, the instant weight loss, the clarity—you’d think she’d dipped her lower intestine in the Fountain of Youth. I wanted to know that feeling.

But three hours in and I am still waiting for the burst of energy to hit. The glass of water with half a fresh-squeezed lemon for breakfast was almost refreshing, but the energizing colon-cleansing elixir I just whipped up was disgusting, and a lot of effort. Fresh-squeezed carrot, apple and ginger juice blended with heaping tablespoons of forest-green Enerfood powder, coconut milk powder and Meta Cleanse colon declogger (Metamucil for the soul). I gag through the experience.

I have ordered the EnerHealth Coconut Milk Meta Cleanse for $99.99 off the Internet. In four days, it promises to detox my liver, kidneys/bladder, skin, and lungs. It seems like a steal! The co-creator of EnerHealth Botanicals is Darren Craddock, who said his goal was to create a detox that people could incorporate into their normal lives. “We wanted to maximize cleansing with the least psychological and emotional effects.”

Well, it’s 11:07 a.m. and I am not optimistic. I am starving. I have never looked forward to lettuce so much in my life (I can have a little lunch on Day 1). I am already imagining the ritualistic preparation of it; slowly slicing the avocado, mixing up the dark, ripe spinach leaves with the crisp romaine. It is my only meal until Wednesday, so it has to count.