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Elizabeth Edwards the Hypocrite
Matt Sayles / AP Photo
Whatever Elizabeth Edwards tells Oprah, she was her husband's co-conspirator in his reckless pursuit of power, and now she's cashing out on the whole sorry spectacle.
Xtra Insight: Watch Elizabeth's much-anticipated Oprah appearance.
Among modern sacrileges, those topping the list include: (1) visiting Mexico’s Our Lady of Guadalupe Shrine and asking, “Who painted it?” Or, slightly worse, (2) questioning Elizabeth Edwards’ motives.
Hillary Clinton accomplished the first when she viewed the Virgin Mary’s image, said to have been miraculously imprinted on the cloak of one St. Juan Diego in 1531, prompting the rector of the basilica to respond: “God!”
Elizabeth’s formidable, brave presence on the campaign trail was John’s armor. Family unity? Or conspiracy to commit public fraud?
Others are tiptoeing around the second item, as Elizabeth launches the latest book in her oeuvre of misfortune: Resilience.
I’ll say.
Having once mocked John Edwards’ vanity just when his wife’s cancer returned, it seems fitting that I chime in now. But first, a word of clarification: I did not mock Edwards’ hair when Elizabeth found out about her cancer; I wrote a column about John’s narcissism, predicting his political demise, that just happened to run in most newspapers on the day the Edwardses decided to go public about the cancer’s resurgence.
It was a case of unfortunate timing rather than malice. That said, it can’t be argued that I was stark raving mad.
Little did we know at the time that the man who built a populist campaign excavating houses from Katrina’s muck—while his own 28,000-square-foot teepee was under construction—was also managing an affair. Who says men can’t multitask?
At least, we didn’t know, though Elizabeth did.
This feast of human frailty would be a private affair, if only it were. Today, Elizabeth hits The Oprah Winfrey Show and appears in the June issue of Oprah’s O Magazine. Time magazine is running an excerpt of the book. And the blogosphere is abuzz with twitter. Or is that atwitter with buzz?
What fun this must be for John. I picture him wearing a hairshirt, walking the long, empty corridors of home and chanting: “Hail Elizabeth, full of grace, blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, not whatshername’s.”
As for Elizabeth, well, a book tour is designed to sell books, isn’t it? And nothing sells like the sordid mess of a fallen man, another woman, and a love-baby born in the midst of a presidential campaign. In her Oprah interview, Elizabeth says she has no idea who the father is. “It doesn’t look like my children.” Perhaps not, but, alas, the baby does bear a striking resemblance to her husband.
Might we pause here to ponder what kind of person refers to a one-year-old baby girl as “it?” While you chew on that, let’s shed our guilt and keep in mind that Elizabeth Edwards is the one who reopened this door.
Every woman in America has tried to put herself in Elizabeth’s shoes. “What would I have done?” we ask ourselves. We feel for her in the way all women feel for any other who has (a) lost a child; (b) cancer; (c) a philandering husband. Elizabeth has borne all three with what appears to be remarkable valor.
Victimhood is a reliable insulator against criticism, but something doesn’t feel quite right about this tell-all. Is this how John earns forgiveness, by letting Oprah into his home so the whole world can see what a rich, duplicitous schmuck he is? Is this how couples protect their children from further emotional scarring?
Two points leap out from the back-story of Resilience:
First, Elizabeth was an integral part of her husband’s campaign and knew of the affair, about which both later dissembled. She may have an overburdened heart, but part of that load surely is her own ambition. Although Elizabeth claims to have asked her husband not to run after he told her of the affair, is it really credible that he did it anyway, without her consent? Or that he talked her into it against her will?
Second, Elizabeth is blaming The Other Woman—Rielle Hunter—instead of the man with whom she had a marital covenant. She tells Oprah that “this woman spotted him in the hotel in which he was staying.... She said to him ‘You are so hot.’”
As though John Edwards needed telling. He’d just been telling his mirror the same thing moments before.
We’re culturally programmed to despise the harlot who brings the good man down. Old habits die hard. If one needs to assign blame elsewhere in order to forgive one’s best interest, well then, that’s something else and we understand that, too. But wise women know that the world’s Elizabeths owe the world’s Hunters a thank-you note.
Meanwhile, it must be recognized that Elizabeth’s first priority was helping her husband get to the White House. Her formidable, brave presence on the campaign trail was John’s armor. As long as she was there, his innocence was assumed. Family unity? Or conspiracy to commit public fraud?
The couple had at least three opportunities to scuttle the campaign with integrity and minimize the likelihood of public disgrace: (1) in October 2006, when former campaign manager Peter Scher confronted John about rumors of an affair; (2) a few days later, when John confessed to Elizabeth; (3) five months later, when Elizabeth’s cancer flared. Elizabeth now says, “He should not have run.” Then why did he? And why did she enable him?
At the time, I remember thinking: What kind of man runs for president when his wife is terminally ill and they have two small children? I also remember thinking that maybe Elizabeth could imagine dying with fewer cares if she can deposit her husband and children in the White House. A mother’s ambition for her children’s future, especially in her absence, is more easily understood.
Whatever her motives then and now, one can conclude that any decisions made to continue aiming for the presidency in the midst of so much family turmoil were the result of blind ambition. And any decisions to persevere have to be viewed as having been jointly made.
Whether anyone still cares will be reflected by book sales, the proceeds of which undoubtedly will help ease whatever burdens remain.
Xtra Insight: Watch Elizabeth's much-anticipated Oprah appearance.
Kathleen Parker is a syndicated columnist with the Washington Post Writers Group and author of Save the Males.









Hell just froze over. I agree with Kathleen Parker.
What is the point of this column? What good can possibly come from this? I don't understand how this moves the public debate forward in any constructive way.
Holy hell! Me too! A first!
I can't agree with the "hypocrite" label. I don't recall Elizabeth Edwards ever crying to the press about her victimhood, so I fail to see why publishing this book capitalizing on it makes her a hypocrite. Is the book tacky? Yes, but the bookshelves are full of tacky tell-alls from celebrities.
My problem with Parker is 1. her tone and gratuitous shots at Elizabeth's husband (wasn't the article about *Elizabeth's* hypocracy?) and 2. lack of balance and perspective. Elizabeth wasn't a politician; her husband is. Why should Elizabeth have to live up to public's (or Parker's) standards when Elizabeth has zero to do with the public? As for balance, where is mention of Sarah Palin's hypocrisy? A short while after asking the press to respect her family's privacy in regards to Bristol and her baby, Bristol appears on all three TV networks to discuss her pregnancy. Where are Parker's scathing remarks on the Palin family?
I agree; Parker was wearing her bitch hat when she was writing this column. It IS unbalanced. I believe that Edwards felt trapped when she found out about the affair; there was no good way to deal with it right after her husband had announced his candidacy for President.
Of course, if Parker ever finds herself in such a pickle, I'm sure that she will handle the situation with aplomb. After all, it is obvious that Parker is perfect; at least, in her own eyes. Aside from writing bitchy columns about women with cancer whose husbands cheat on them and father a child with some gold digger. Yep, aside from that small flaw, Parker must be perfect.
Probably because no one cares about the Palins. Period
Holy Smoke! What has Kathleen Parker experienced even close to what Elizabeth Edwards has? I f Liz wants to make alittle money to put aside for her kids, more power to her.. Don't tell me John isn't counting the days til she's gone to replace her. LIZ should have run for president. She's smarter and has a helluva lot more integrity and loyalty than all those middle-aged guys who can't keep their pants zipped. Can you imagine her selling state secrets for sex? Puh-leease!
Parker is currently married and has three sons (ages?). It will be interesting what she says when her spouse cheats on her! Ann Landers became MUCH less smug and certain about "marital values" when her husband -- of many years -- informed her that he had fallen in love with another woman and was ditching Ann to marry that woman. Kathleen Parker -- this can happen to you! Don't be so priggish!
Link
"...She may be smart, but she doesn't seem to know much about men..."
Elizabeth Edwards has learned late what many women have known long: "Women grieve; men replace." Faced with a wife suffering from cancer, and himself an admitted narcissist, John Edwards quickly succumbed to "the kindness of a stranger!" A young, attractive, sexy stranger who zoomed into his aging, still charming image by telling him "You're so hot!"
It is easy to condemn John Edwards--harder to critize Elizabeth. But my guess is that if she really did not want him to run, she could have stopped him! And she did not. That says worlds!!!
It's quite unusual that a narcissist would admit to narcissism. You probably know more about the subject than I do. So, I'll take your word.
That generality about men and women react to challenges is really very silly.
Let me get this straight, you're saying it's a wife's responsibility to make sure her husband doesn't cheat? And you're saying that Edwards was helpless in the face of a woman who told him he was hot? So you're advising us all that fidelity can only be expected of a man if a) his wife is monitoring his every move, thought, need, whim and hard on; and b) no woman anywhere ever gives him a compliment (let alone comes on to him--if that were to happen, then he's clearly allowed to cheat). Awesome.
No, you're twisting her words around. It's not a woman's responsibility to make sure her husband doesn't cheat, but if he does, it IS her responsibility to blame him and hold him accountable; don't portray him as a "victim" of the other woman. Women make passes at married men all the time - what' matters is how the man responds to it.
Everyone sympathizes with Mrs. Edwards for what her husband's done. She, however, is guilty of being aware of the affair, yet supporting her husband in pursuit of the presidency. If she truly didn't want him to run, all she had to do was say no....you blew it. You should have thought about that before you wandered. She deliberately assisted her husband in misleading the American public and that is wrong, plain and simple. If they had been willing to go public with the information (i.e. Clintons, Jennifer Flowers), that would have been different. They could have laid their cards out for everyone to see and allowed to voters to make their decision accordingly.
Seriously?
I'm a man and I resent that. when I got married I thought it would be hard not to cheat (I was 21 and women were just starting to notice me the way I wanted). It is not hard to keep it in your pants. I don't need any help from my wife to be faithful.
And narcissists don't usually know they're narcissistic.
Women "replace" too. And they have life-affirming affairs while caring for a terminally ill partner.
As in the Bible: all the blame goes to the harlot/sexpot/manhunter. Obviously your marriage was perfect! Just keep your socks on there,Saint Elizabeth-- oh, right, you did! I mean, c'mon.
Surely, there is some truth in what Kathleen Parker says. Nevertheless, to point a gossipy, nasty article that leaves you feeling soiled after reading... If she is representative of the Washington Post Writers Group, the ongoing demise of establishment journalism is neither surprising nor entirely to be regretted.
I agree. I felt the article was over the top in "snarky". Which only demeaned the author, and disappointed this reader. Even when I disagree with Ms. Parker, I usually find she has "thoughtful" columns, but not this time.
Elizabeth Edwards made her choices throughout this sad saga. She chose to hide her husbands affairs while running for President, knowing that the affair would eventually come out with dire consequences. Imagine had he won the primary and than the news came out. Imagine VP Palin.
And now Elizabeth Edwards made another choice: to write this book. This is an admirable, accomplished woman who could have written a book to inspire, a book about strength and resilience in the face of tragic loss and devastating disease. Instead she chose to write a 'tell all' book that demeans both her and her husband even further. I would have gladly read the former and am embarrassed for the latter.
Elizabeth Edwards chose to make herself the victim when she could have been a true role model. What a shame.
Excellent summation of this article.
"But wise women know that the world's Elizabeths owe the world's Hunters a thank-you note."
why is this? a thank you note for what?
I was going to ask the same thing. What the hell does that mean?
For bringing to light, his lack of moral character. The man she loved and admired turned out to be simple, sleazy cad.
Thank you. Yes, you can have a horrible disease and act irresponsibility, and should be held to account for doing so. Excellent commentary.
I can understand the cynicism, but there is an abundance of venom in this article that is unnecessary. The article and some of the responses sound like they were written by members in good standing of the First Wives's Club.
People seem to gloss over a salient detail of John Edwards' calculated confession: He waited until AFTER he announced he was running for president to tell Elizabeth about his affair. (Of course, he lied and pretended he'd slipped once.) Elizabeth was really boxed into a corner. Dropping out is very different from deciding not to run. If he had told her BEFORE he announced, she may have been able to force his hand and get him not to announce. So let's not blame Elizabeth for being put in a weakened negotiating position by her husband. It was another betrayal. It gave him the upper hand.
She still had the option of making him drop out of the race.
This seems a good time to remind people that the MSM totally ignored this story when it was developing because it made a leading Democratic contender look bad. Only the despised National Enquirer kept digging until it all came out. I think you might say this tells us a little something about how far the left-wing networks and big city papers can be trusted.
"Get them evil liberal you ever-rightous conservatives!"
You make me laugh, Banjo.
Especially the part about the left-wing networks ... what a joke. How does it always escape the attention of your sort that they are all owned by huge megacorporations run by Republicans? Look outside the box and you can learn a lot. For example, some of us knew all about the "torture memos" months and months ago. That was from IPS, if I remember correctly. It's so long ago I'm not sure of the source now, but there was an article telling all about John Yoo, Ashcroft, and the rest of them, including how they hid the memo that disagreed with the opinion they wanted to hear. You didn't see the story in the MSM because it would have been damaging to Bush/Cheney and the GOP.
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Banjo I must respectfully disagree.
I was living in North Carolina when the news of the affair came out, and it was everywhere. Everyone was talking about it and all the news casters were plugging it. Curiously, I didn't see much about it on Fox News though. I do watch fox news as well as those left wing networks. In my opinion, you shouldn't trust any of them.
Elizabeth did the same thing every political wife does when her husband is found cheating. She smiled stood next to him and secretly wanted to punch him in the head.
Is everything left and right winged.There are unfaithfull scum bag husbands in all parties all religions,all careers,all walks of lives, and if a station didnt run with it ...it was because they did not know it. They all love Sensationalism,it brings up the ratings, and all stories are on 24 hours a day in 7 stations.None Stop.!!!Nothing to do with democrats or republicans.They love a juicy,sexual,sleezy,steamy,story.and all love the downfall of somebody.
Totally agree.
I don't agree with Kathleen. Elizabeth has many issues in her life and she is trying to work them out by writing and speaking to people. It's not her fault she has cancer and her husband decided to have a affair. When someone goes public about their disease should they be vilified? Are they seeking attention or sympathy? So what. What is the difference if they go public about an affair or being gay etc? Maybe your anger should be directed at Oprah who has people like Elizabeth on every day or maybe her editor/publishing house who saw $ signs when the book was piched.
I remember watching Ms Edwards as the campaign got under way and thinking there was something going on.At the time I thought it was her illness but now I realize the pain that was so obvious was betrayal not chemo.She made a deal with the devil and I can't blame her.Terminally ill with 3 children what would I have done.I seldom agree with Ms Parker and in this instance I think I would have chosen to write about something else.For instance it is Mothers Day on sunday and as someone who buried her Mother 12 years ago I know what it is like to make impossible promises to the devil and God for just one more day.John Edwards is a creep but do not let Ms Hunter off the hook.She wasnt a naive girl but a woman who decided regardless of the consequences to follow her own agenda.Rule#1 never date a married manRule#2never date a married man..etc
Hmmm.so many of us smelled his narcissism..and he still swept thru the campaign..I suspect we are finally going to see the unraveling of the strong woman/beautiful man syndrone..starting with Oprah, then on to the View. E. Edwards has always been a little more outspoken than Hillary..let's hope she continues this trend a gives us a solid dose of where she went wrong. There are lessons to be learned here, and she has never shyed away from the truth...except maybe while 'inside' the spectacle that is our electoral process...Go Elizabeth...tell all!
The hart wants what the hart wants, he wanted to be president
and maybe she just wanted him out of the house becaues down deep in her hart she knew he wasn't their for her. Maybe it was eazyer dealing with her disease alone. The shock of the affair was nothing to the shock of the betrayal that her husband
Just didn't care and was only giveing lip service
Hey steff47: can't spell "heart" or am I missing something? actually, your spelling stinks as does your comment.
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Hey LadyG2, you know some people might not be as smart as you or perhaps as well educated, but they still have the right to share their opinion without being put down by rudeness and arrogance.
Let me just say that I know a thing or two about a young woman with children, a husband and breast cancer. My own mother was diagnosed at age 36 in 1971 and died at age 40 in 1974, leaving three children - 16, 13 and 11 - behind. I was the 13 year-old. And let me also say, that while John Edwards never impressed me, accept as a charlatan with a marketing concept about two Americas that he thought sounded good and he assumed he could sell - he proved me right the day I watched him scowl at the cameras and announce "her cancer is back". I don't think he even had the grace to say "Elizabeth's breast cancer" or "my wife's breast cancer". Then he announced he'd continue running with "her" blessing. It's what "she/they" wanted. What a crock of shit. First off, at that moment the subtext read - loud and clear - "I don't love her". That's right. That's exactly what his own malignancy - his self centeredness - revealed at that moment. As for her - I don't blame her at all. She was doing what a good southern wife has to do. She was devastated by the end of her own life in sight and the end of a loving marriage. Not to mention, she might be leaving beautiful children behind. When a man loves his wife, and his wife is stricken with an illness that might prove terminal, that man does not run for President. He, instead, makes himself more available to love and caretake when called upon. So it's not the two Americas. It never was. It was always, the two John's.
You are so right. So many of my friends and family were salivating at the idea of John Edwards as President and I just couldn't understand it. The thought that went through my mind the first time I looked into his eyes (back when he was running against Kerry for the '04 nomination) was, "I wouldn't buy a used car from that guy!" And even with all the "right things" coming out of his mouth this time around, the fact that he would continue a campaign while his wife was so sick and their children must have been terrified just nauseated me.
What a talent! You read into his, "her cancer is back," and instantly knew all this stuff about him. It meant "I don't love her." Wow!
Go back and look at the press conference. That's a man caught up in himself. He wasn't too concerned about his wife. If you don't see it, you're blind. The guy is not an asshole bc he does or doesn't love his wife. He's an asshole bc he's a fraud and was willing to push his insincerity on on all of us. I was never fooled. Sorry if you were.
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I would have appreciated this article more if it were unbiased, but it's so blatant, I'm inclined to defend Elizabeth Edwards and I'm not fond of her or her husband. I can't imagine that her first instinct, upon hearing about the affair, was to insist on stopping the campaign and confessing to the public. He's scum and the blame lies with him. Not with Rielle and not with Elizabeth...and nice how Kathleen managed to squeeze a dig at Hillary in there!
I agree with this article. What a joke this woman is. She is pulling the wool over some but not this one. More Politician's are cheaters than they are Faithful. It is the game that they play to get money and backers. I do feel for her about her Cancer, but other than that I wouldn't buy her book even if it cost a dime.
What makes her a joke? I'm not defending anything that any of them did, said or implied (including Rielle), but I'm not judging them either.
Would you read the book if someone gave it to you? Would you read A book if it cost a dime?
"Victimhood is a reliable insulator against criticism"
So true, not only here but in so many instances these days.
I don't think I'm any better a judge of character than anyone else, but I could tell the very first time I saw John Edwards on TV that he is a sleazy con man. His phony smarminess just oozes from him. I'm amazed that so many people didn't see this.
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MrCleveland, you are so correct but we still have to look at another one that people DID NOT see thru but not to worry they will, sooner than later.
Surely, you're referring to George W. Bush, right?
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I thought the same thing!
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Wanting wrote: "So you knew he was smarmy - and this is evidenced by what -- the burying of a son who died in a tragic freak accident - the REFUSAL - again, REFUSAL, and once more since you clearly have no frame of reference for decency - REFUSAL of both he and his wife to ever allow their son's death to be used as a cheap political gimmick - a story hook -- as so many raggedy publications catering to the increasingly stupid - eyes on you - tried to suggest -- wanting to say that his political career rose from the ashes of his son's death - and both he and his wife refused that trite cliche..."
Yadda yadda yadda.
From the book "No Excuses" by Robert Shrum, exerpted in Time on May 30, 2007: "Kerry talked with several potential picks, including Gephardt and Edwards. He was comfortable after his conversations with Gephardt, but even queasier about Edwards after they met. Edwards had told Kerry he was going to share a story with him that he'd never told anyone else-that after his son Wade had been killed, he climbed onto the slab at the funeral home, laid there and hugged his body, and promised that he'd do all he could to make life better for people, to live up to Wade's ideals of service. Kerry was stunned, not moved, because, as he told me later, Edwards had recounted the same exact story to him, almost in the exact same words, a year or two before-and with the same preface, that he'd never shared the memory with anyone else."
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1626498,00.html
@ wanting
I was right, wasn't I?
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On Elizabeth's part, I can't figure out why she would do this. Is it some kind of therapy? She doesn't need the money. She is a strong, intelligent woman, and a book like this seems to serve no purpose.
On John's part, he's somewhat of a Kennedyesque figure. I'm surprised that he didn't have more affairs. One can't blame Rielle that much. She's somewhat attractive but no ultravixen. It does take two to tango. In the phusical sense, John probably doesn't find Elizabeth that attractive. So what???
"In the phusical sense, John probably doesn't find Elizabeth that attractive. So what???"
Just as the other 'John' -McCain- didn't find his disfigured first wife attractive when he saw her after his Vietnam prison. He quickly dumped and divorced Carol and married Cindy, while someone else arranged to pay the medical bills for the McCains.
All of this was swept under the Republican carpet until much, much later. The MSM wasn't 'interested' in reporting this story much either.
I think there are two reasons why Elizabeth did this. It's revenge and love of the limelight.What I don't get is how someone can wash all this dirty laundry in public so their children can read this book someday. Awhile ago, she said that she was staying with her husband so as not to make him look bad in her children's eyes. Now she writes a tell-all book. It's really deplorable. Go away, already.
Just wondering if the columnist has written
any similar toned articles criticizing
Hillary Clinton for "standing by her man"
during Bill's womanizing marathon.
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Yes, it's called being fair and balanced (the mantra of your favorite non-partisan news outlet I bet).
I don't know about any Hillary articles, but she did write a book about how men are being emasculated damn near from birth by a feminist conspiracy, and that we are made to look like fools by the MSM (I hate that acronym).
Most of what comes out of this woman's mouth is garbage. I think she thinks more highly of herself than she should.
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I'm amazed at the number of women, especially young ones who have no experience of a long-term marriage in which a couple has a shared history of both joy and profound grief, who feel perfectly equipped to judge how a woman with young children "should" behave in the face of her husband's betrayal while she is struggling with the news that her cancer is incurable. Granted that we owe a debt of gratitude to The Enquirer for revealing the affair before the election, but for goodness sake, give her a break. Maybe she feels a need to provide for her children's future since John has proven to be so unreliable.
A Colonel who never made it to General once told me "There has never been a General without a General's Wife."
Elizabeth seems to me that she has her own ambitions and her union with John, much like that of Hillary and Bill is one of mutual self interest both with an interest in power.
Its sad because the truth is he never actually had a chance at a nomination so it seems that their ambition has done them both in....
As the husband of a woman who has been through cancer treatment, I thought immediately that John Edwards must have been shallow, extremely self centered, and an incurable narcissist when he decided to go on the campaign trail after his wife's cancer reappeared. And when I saw Elizabeth traveling and campaigning with him, I continued to wonder why he didn't abandon his campaign and the long, cross-country bus trips, take his wife home, and care for her. Now, it seems she went on the campaign trail to keep an eye on him and to keep him connected to their small children. The wife of an alcoholic who thinks she can control her husband's drinking and a wife who sets out to try control her husband's affairs both live in such states of desperation. I feel terrible for Elizabeth, and for her struggle to hold her family together.
I can't imagine the pain this has caused Elizabeth Edwards but I don't understand how this book can do anything other than hurt her children. They too have lost a sibling, had a philandering father and have a mother with terminal cancer. Haven't they endured enough without this book being in the public domain? It seems to me both parents have demonstrated a complete lack of good or thoughtful judgment.
I could not agree more. I really feel for those children.
Thank you.
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