One final epiphany: Consider the eerie resemblance between the notorious mom and ambiguous rocker Lambert, who debuted his
emo-kid hairstyle on
American Idol last fall. Please note that, in the emo context, Kate’s much-maligned “reverse mullet” is a thing of beauty, sometimes fondly referred to as a ”tellum” (get it?).
Dyed Black, Kate’s do would instantly become “emo,” too, earning her the right to scowl even more continuously, screech sluggish songs when the kids misbehave, and pierce her septum. Moving forward, this may be just the twist she needs to survive the current onslaught of negative press, and squeeze a couple more seasons out of TLC.