Get a Bidet — Your Butt Deserves Better Than Just Sh*tty Toilet Paper

It’s not that I was anxious about the actual experience of a bidet. I was much more unnerved by playing plumber and flooding my entire apartment while trying to install it. In hindsight, I feel very silly — installing the bidet that I got from TUSHY (whose site is a sight to behold) was way easier than I thought.

Oh, yeah, and I don’t think I’m ever going back to a non-bidet life.

I’m sure you’ve had at least one late night conversation before about the ridiculous barbarity of our poop hygiene, comprising simply of a semi-absorbent sheet of paper that we wipe against our… well, it’s pretty gross. And using water — the same way we use it in virtually every other aspect of our self-cleaning and grooming behaviors — seems so obvious and natural that I can’t wait until it’s completely mainstream — experiences like the one I had with TUSHY should definitely push things that way.

If you don’t know, a bidet generally lets you clean your nether regions using water. A nozzle lets out a spray you can control — from pressure to direction (to get… everywhere you need to get). When you’re done, you use toilet paper as normal to dry (rather than clean) yourself and voila, you’re clean (-er than you would’ve been with paper-only wiping). In order to operate properly, however, the bidet siphons water from the same pipe that carries it into the tank at the back of your toilet. That means the installation involves that process — and at least with TUSHY’s bidet, it was ridiculously easy.

When I emerged from the bathroom, victorious in my accomplishment of having installed a bidet, I realized it had only taken me a little more than ten minutes to do so.

You can get the TUSHY bidet for $69 on Amazon (where you'll find many, many other people who are really into this bidet) or through the really fun TUSHY website, where you should use code TUSHY5OFF for $5 off your order and where orders over $50 ship for free.

While the $69 TUSHY has completely disrupted my bathroom routine and I’ll never go back to a non-bidet life, and while it’s got nearly 200 reviews and a 4.6-star average rating, it’s by no means your only option.

Here are a few other highly-rated bidets to consider (or scroll through some of the best sellers yourself):

TOTO Washlet Bidet with PreMist, $366 on Amazon

SmartBidet Electric Bidet Seat, $300 at Bed Bath & Beyond

Brondell Swash Bidet With Air Dryer, $280 on Amazon

GenieBidet With Dual Nozzles, $109 on Amazon

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