Former President Bill Clinton reportedly said in a new documentary that his affair with Monica Lewinsky was one of the “things I did to manage my anxieties.” In the Hulu documentary series about his wife and ex-Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, the 73-year-old said he felt like a boxer “staggering” after a 30-round fight during his years in the White House, and claimed the affair was “something that will take your mind off it for a while.” “Everybody’s life has pressures and disappointments, terrors, fears of whatever,” he said, according to the New York Post. “Nobody thinks they’re taking a risk... That’s not why we do stupid things.”

The Daily Beast reported on the documentary last month, detailing Clinton recalling telling his wife the truth about the affair after initially denying it. He said marriage counseling sessions were the hardest things he’d gone through in his life, calling them “necessary” because Hillary deserved it and daughter Chelsea deserved it. “I feel terrible about the fact that Monica Lewinsky’s life was defined by it, unfairly I think,” he said. “Over the years I watched her trying to get a normal life back again. But you gotta decide how to define normal.”