BAD NEWS FOR COCKBURN

Bill Ackman Says Our Names Determine Our Fates, Promptly Screws Up

The billionaire investor thinks his social media battles may have been fated from birth.

Don't tell anyone named Longbottom, Weiner, or Cockburn, but billionaire Bill Ackman believes our destinies are tied to our appellations. In his case, he told New York Magazine—using a bit of Talmudic word dissection—his surname destined him to become “Activist Man.” Ackman, who has been waging an online war against DEI initiatives and university presidents he believes aren’t doing enough to combat antisemitism, asked the article’s author for his name in order to prove the point. Upon striking out with the surname, Wiedeman, he went with the writer’s first name, Reeves, except he misheard the answer as “Reed.” “Read... write,” he said, apparently satisfied with his work.