BEER BRAWL

Couple Suspected of Buying Bud Light Assaulted, Police Say

“He actually didn’t have Bud Light,” a police spokesperson said.

Three suspects allegedly assaulted an Ontario couple who was suspected of buying Bud Light Saturday night. According to a press release from local police, the couple was leaving a liquor store when three men approached them and started hurling homophobic insults. “One of the suspects commented on the male victim’s choice of alcohol and uttered anti-homosexual derogatory slurs as he approached the victim,” police say. “The female victim stepped between them and was then assaulted.” Then, the other two suspects got involved, assaulting both victims and knocking the man to the ground before fleeing, police added. It’s the latest tale in the ridiculous saga of Bud Light and parent brewer Anheuser-Busch, which has been subject to conservative outrage for weeks after the beer brand’s now-defunct partnership with a trans social media influencer. As it turns out, the Canadian couple didn’t even purchase Bud Light that night—it was another beer brand altogether. “He actually didn’t have Bud Light,” a police spokesperson said. “I guess there were some rainbow colors on the cans and so it was initiated that way… Then upon further determination as to what they purchased, they still weren’t happy with that. Let’s just put it that way.”