CAST NO SHADOW

Canadian Groundhog Found Dead Hours Before Prediction Ceremony

The beloved rodent was discovered with “no vital signs” just hours before he was set to make his winter prediction.

In what can only be interpreted as a grim portent of things to come, the Canadian rodent tasked with predicting the weather on Groundhog Day was found dead on Thursday, only hours before his ceremony was set to take place. A morbid pall was suddenly cast over the event in Val-d’Espoir, Quebec, when organizers announced “the death of Fred” nearly an hour into the day’s festivities. Fred—full name Fred la Marmotte—showed “no vital signs” when organizers went to wake him from hibernation for the tradition, organizer Roberto Blondin said. The beloved furry fellow is believed to have died in his sleep sometime in December. He was nine years old, an ancient age for a groundhog to reach. Apparently determined to go on with the show, Blondin then announced that Fred would have loved nothing more than to have a human child to take his place and make a prediction. A child wearing a groundhog hat was called to the stage and handed a groundhog plushie, after which they proclaimed they could see their shadow, meaning six more weeks of winter. Meanwhile, one of Fred la Marmotte’s own children is expected to take up his father’s mantle next year.