Creflo Dollar: Demons Stole My Private Jet

Satan stole Pastor Creflo Dollar’s private jet, according to a paid spokesman for Satan’s opposition, Pastor Creflo Dollar.

During a recent sermon, Dollar addressed his critics in the media who challenged him when he tried to convince the members of his congregation that they should buy him a $65 million private jet.

In particular, Dollar said those who tried to damn him to a life of TSA pat-downs and long lines were doing the work of Satan, and that one day he would ask God for a billion dollars to buy a spaceship so he can go to Mars.

Wide-eyed and rabid, Dollar told his congregation: “I can dream as long as I want to! I can believe God as long as I want to! If I want to believe God for a $65 million plane, you cannot stop me! You cannot stop me from dreaming!”

In March, The Daily Beast brought you word that Dollar’s private jet was beginning to age somewhat, and that God told him he deserved a new one, at a cost of $65 million to the members of his church, World Changers Church International.

The crowdsourcing mission was called “Project G650” and Dollar said it was all about “Understanding Grace” and “Empowering Change.”

Dollar said he needed this new jet so that he could continue to travel the world and bring people the word of the gospel, but he did not explain why such a feat could not be accomplished while flying coach.

Soon after Dollar went public with his plea via blog post, it was inexplicably removed from his website—most likely by Satan, according to Dollar.

“Now you see why the devil tried so aggressively to discredit my voice,” Dollar told the members of his congregation. “The enemy has got to discredit the voices of faith and grace and truth because he don’t want you to know that you can walk on the water if you can look at Jesus.”

The Daily Beast has attempted, for weeks, to speak to Dollar, but he has not returned calls to his assistant. An effort to lure Dollar to The Daily Beast’s headquarters from his church in the Bronx with a trail of money was thwarted by complications with wind.

Dollar is a televangelist and the founder of World Changers Church International, which opened its doors in Atlanta in 1986. It has since expanded to New York City. There, Dollar preaches “prosperity theology,” which convinces people that if you want your prayers answered, you have to pay those close to God, like Creflo Dollar, to make the connection.

This scam has made Dollar a very wealthy man with a stable of two Rolls-Royces, clothes made of shiny reptiles, and multimillion-dollar homes around the country.

But Dollar believes he deserves more.

“If you think a $65 million plane was too much, if they discover life on Mars, they gonna need to hear the gospel—and I’m gonna have to believe God for a billion-dollar space shuttle, because we got to preach the gospel on Mars! I dare you to tell me that I can’t dream! I dare you to tell me that I can’t believe God!”

I dare Dollar to tell me why he can’t believe God for a more economical means of in-air transportation like a pair of wings or a magic carpet.

“If I find Jesus, I’m gonna look at Jesus until it comes to pass because with God, all things are possible! To him that believes. And so I say to you: Dream on, baby! Dream on! Don’t dream about what you can have, dream about what the devil says you can’t have!”

Dollar ran around his stage like a madman, shouting at people to “dare” him some more.

“I’m gonna dream until Jesus comes!”

Although Jesus probably will be flying coach like the rest of us.