“This isn’t just a big night for Bernie, Biden, and the coronavirus,” the Daily Show host said on Tuesday. “Perhaps the candidate who has the most riding on tonight is Mike Bloomberg.” He explained that the former New York City mayor hedged his campaign on skipping the first four primary states and betting everything on Super Tuesday, specifically more than half a billion dollars.
In fact, Noah said, “This guy is so rich that he did something over the weekend that no other candidate has the money or the ego to do.” He was talking about the three-minute ad Bloomberg bought over the weekend to deliver his own Oval Office-style address on the coronavirus.
“You know, there’s rich and then there’s billionaire rich,” Noah said. “Because you realize this guy made his own Oval Office and then bought his own presidential address.” He joked that Donald Trump probably saw it and said, “Shh, the president is talking.”
“So Bloomberg spent over a million dollars to convince all of us that he’s the man to defeat coronavirus,” the host continued. “But then a video Bloomberg released yesterday of him eating pizza suggests that he actually might be part of the problem.” After playing the clip of the candidate eating pizza from a box and then licking his fingers, Noah said, “That is so disgusting, I bet the coronavirus watched that and said, ‘I’ve got to wash my hands.’”
On a night when Bloomberg only managed to win the island of American Samoa, Noah said that all his money seems to have bought him is “people digging up skeletons from his past” and a debate where Senator Elizabeth Warren “completely burned him to the ground.”
After complimenting Trump for his “comedy routine” about Bloomberg’s “humiliating” debate performance, Noah said that Super Tuesday may have finally answered the question, “Can a billionaire buy the election?”
“That’s right, folks, it looks like yet again Bloomberg has come up short,” he joked.
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