“Trump got that ‘rona!” exclaimed The Kid Mero.
The duo then filled their audience in on how President Trump and first lady Melania Trump came down with the novel coronavirus this week—and this after The New York Times revealed that Trump was not only financially underwater and a total fraud but had paid a measly $750 a year in federal income tax his first two years in office. (Trump is currently fighting the virus at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, requiring supplementary oxygen and steroids, while Melania is allegedly only experiencing minor symptoms.)
“Wowww. How you let a broke boy give you COVID? She’s having a terrible week!” chimed in Desus Nice, adding, “All his duties are eating Filet-O-Fish and tweeting, so I mean, he could still do that with COVID.” (A former aide to Melania also dropped audio of her mocking Christmas this past week.)
Showtime’s late-night team then explained how Trump stooped so low as to go on Fox News and suggest it was members of law enforcement and the military who gave Hope Hicks the coronavirus, saying, “It’s very, very hard when you are with people from the military or from law enforcement and they want to come over to you, they want to hug you and they want to kiss you, because we really have done a good job for them. And you get close, and things happen.”
“Yo, stop, bro! They’re ‘losers’ and ‘suckers,’ and now they’re superspreaders? Yo, this dude! Come on!” shouted Mero.
“He sounds like a guy who had an affair at a bar one night,” said Desus. “He’s like, You know, they hug you and kiss you, and things happen…I’m sorry!”