As the stock market experienced a rollercoaster ride of a day, toying with everyone’s emotions and 401(k)s, some may have been looking for an expert to help guide them through the trauma. And that expert is undoubtedly televangelist Pat Robertson.

No one had definitively ascertained what had happened to the Dow Jones until Robertson issued his diagnosis: The stock market tumbled because the United States allows women to get abortions. He took to his pulpit on The 700 Club to tell viewers that Planned Parenthood is to blame for Monday’s economic scare.

“That organization is an absolute monstrosity,” Robertson said. “To take your money and my money, which the government extorts from us every year in the form of taxation, is nothing short of tyranny.”

Because the government takes Robertson’s money and gives it to Planned Parenthood, an organization that is “repugnant to most Americans,” the United States is facing a financial doomsday.

“We will pay dearly as a nation for this thing going on,” Robertson said. “And possibly, if we were to stop, stop all of this slaughter, the judgment of God might be lifted from us. But it’s coming, ladies and gentlemen. We just have a little taste of it in terms of the financial system. But it’s going to be shaken to its core in the next few months, years, or however long it takes, and it will hurt every one of us. It’s coming down the road. But at least we could repent and try to change.”

Some repenting must already be in the works, as the market recovered slightly as the day went on.

“Here in America, we have been complicit in terminating the lives of in excess of 50 million precious unborn children,” Robertson said. “And don’t you think almighty God is going to hold us accountable for that?”

To repair the tumultuous global financial system, the United States must abolish abortion and repent as soon as possible. Or the doomsday Robertson has been warning about will finally come to pass. Thankfully, we need look no further for financial advice.