On Monday morning, I awoke to a ghastly image on the Daily Mail’s homepage—not a mutant fish or a murder scene or Harvey Weinstein’s face, but Ivanka Trump dressed like a deranged schoolmistress. The outfit was baffling from top to bottom: a light pink turtleneck appended with supersized red bell sleeves and paired with a grey tartan pencil skirt.
Yes, bell sleeves are trendy right now, but Ivanka’s taffetan cuffs look like giant ear trumpets. What are these glaring red silos doing on a fitted, pale pink mock-neck top anyway? And how did she arrive at the devastating decision to pair this demented shirt with a plaid pencil skirt? I’m not sure Ivanka’s reputation as a boringly well-dressed woman will ever recover.
Many of the first daughter’s fashion choices have been all wrong recenty. The internet had a good laugh over Ivanka’s “punk phase,” detailed in her memoir, but her current sartorial phase is far more disturbing and demands our attention. Today’s Scottish-punk plaid dress, for instance, marks the third time she’s worn the pattern this week. What’s this tartan obsession all about? And why haven’t the Daily Mail paps who greet her outside her home every morning told her to stick to what she knows?
Indeed, Ivanka’s signature look—sheath dresses in muted tones and the occasional statement-making print—has been replaced by a try-hard mashup of bold colored tops and plaid everything.
Ivanka is clearly trying to telegraph a more trendy, youthful look than what we’re used to seeing from her. But the strategy has backfired, and the result is dire.
The only other explanation for this disconcerting transformation is that her celebrity stylist Cat Williams is on holiday, and Ivanka’s 5-year-old daughter has taken her place.
We have no idea what the red sleeves are about. They look vaguely bondage-y crossed with bishop’s smock, and really not the thing to wear if you’re having soup as a starter.
Pictured here in better times: Ivanka in Rome last Spring, elegantly dressed in a slinky silk wrap dress. In no way practical, but every day is Dynasty day for Ivanka.
A failed attempt to channel Cher in Clueless: an unflattering mustard sweater meets shapeless plaid that could kill at a thousand paces.
A classic gingham dress from last spring tells us Ivanka should go back to basics.
This double-breasted, battle-tank resembling Prince of Wales check trouser suit is, as the fashion folk say, TOO MUCH.