Hell hath no fury like a Jeffrey Epstein-defending pierogi lover scorned.
Notorious defense attorney Alan Dershowitz announced that he’s suing a farmer’s market on Martha’s Vineyard after the market’s resident pierogi stand refused to serve him.
During the latest episode of his podcast The Dershow, Dershowitz recalled how he was especially excited to go to the West Tisbury’s Farmer’s Market on Wednesday because he had received insider intel that the first corn crop of the summer had arrived early this year.
After buying a dozen ears of corn and placing an order from his usual juice guy for a fresh-squeezed orange juice with a splash of lemon justice, the retired Harvard law professor stopped by the pierogi stand and asked if he could have six of the potato dumplings.
“No,” replied the vendor.
“Oh, you’ve run out of pierogi? Too bad,” Dershowitz said he replied.
“No, we have plenty of pierogi,” the person behind the counter replied, according to the lawyer. “I just won’t sell them to you.”
At that point, Dershowitz—who represented President Donald Trump during his impeachment trial and helped Epstein secure a sweetheart plea deal for solicitation of underage prostitution in 2008—demanded an explanation.
“I won’t sell them to you because I don’t approve of your politics,” the seller replied, according to Dershowitz. “I don’t approve of who you’ve represented. I don’t approve of who you support.”
When Dershowitz—whose other celebrity clients have included Mike Tyson, O.J. Simpson, Harvey Weinstein, and Patty Hearst—asked for details, the vendor refused to elaborate.
“The clear implication was that he opposed me because I defended Donald Trump and because I was a Zionist,” Dershowitz said.
The week before, he had gone to the farmer’s market wearing a T-shirt that said, “Proud American Zionist,” and he noticed the pierogi vendor looking at the shirt “strangely” even though they didn’t talk, Dershowitz noted.
By his own admission, after being refused service, Dershowitz told the seller that it was illegal to deny people service on the basis of race, religion, and sexuality; accused the vendor of McCarthyism; and began warning other customers not to patronize the “bigoted” stand.
Two police officers then approached Dershowitz and said the vendor had a right to deny him service, and threatened to arrest him for trespassing if he continued interfering with the business.
Chris Hulbert, 59, filmed part of the police encounter. After the stand’s owner walked away, Dershowitz began bothering some women who worked there, demanding to know why he wasn’t being served and accusing them of being antisemitic, Hulbert told the Daily Beast.
The women were doing everything they could do ignore Dershowitz, who kept filming them while insisting they were discriminating against him based on politics. So Hulbert—who at first didn’t realize who Dershowitz was—engaged him.
“I was like, ‘What political views could possible get you banned from pierogis?’” Hulbert said. “I asked if he’s a Trumper, and he says, ‘No, I’m the opposite! But I represented Epstein and Trump at one point.’”
Hulbert then figured it out and asked Dershowitz if his name was “Alan.” When Dershowitz said it was, Hulbert replied, “Well you should know I was vice president of Take Back New York for seven years. We lobbied for Meghan’s Law and also created the first predator database.”
Dershowitz then said, “No, thank you,” and left, but returned after Hulbert walked away, he said. At that point, the police arrived and Hulbert gave the police a witness statement. The officer said they had received three complaints from vendors about Dershowitz.
The pierogi vendor, good_pierogi, thanked Hulbert on social media and offered him free pierogis for his efforts.
The Daily Beast has reached out to good_pierogi and Dershowitz for comment.
On his show, Dershowitz said he was suing the farmer’s market to try to force it to change its policy to only allow vendors that will “sell to everybody.”
He also rehashed his old gripes about being treated as a pariah on liberal Martha’s Vineyard ever since he defended Trump, saying he had been “banned” from the island’s book fair, library, and reform synagogue, and was no longer invited to social functions.
Calling Martha’s Vineyard one of the most “intolerant” places he’s ever been, he admitted that 90 percent of the town of Chilmark, where he has a vacation home, probably agreed with the pierogi maker.
“It’s worse than McCarthyism of the 1950s, because McCarthyism of the 1950s went after the people themselves—the communists, the lawyers who represented the communists,” he said. “In Chilmark, they go after my wife, they go after my children, they go after my grandchildren, and they take it out on everybody.”
