In an in-depth profile with The Guardian on Sunday, Jesy Nelson spoke candidly about her tumultuous mental-health struggles and the cruel cyberbullying that drove her to attempt suicide. The 28-year-old, who rose to prominence in 2011 after winning The X Factor as part of the British girl band Little Mix, discusses the ups and downs of fame in her upcoming documentary, Jesy Nelson: Odd One Out.

Ahead of the premiere of the film on Thursday, Nelson told The Guardian, “I had a routine of waking up, going on Twitter, searching for the worst things I could about myself. I’d type in the search bar: ‘Jesy fat,’ or ‘Jesy ugly,’ and see what would come up.” The singer described her obsession with reading negative comments from trolls as being “like an addiction.”

The obsession took a severe toll on her mental health. “The only way I can describe the pain is like constantly being heartbroken,” Nelson told the BBC. “I remember going to the kitchen and I just took as many tablets as I could. Then my ex, who was with me at the time, he woke up and was like, ‘why are you crying?’ I kept saying I wanted to die.” According to the BBC, Nelson was taken to the hospital and did not suffer any complications following the attempted overdose. In her interview with The Guardian, Nelson says she is happy now after getting help and being open about her experiences.