“Meanwhile, Recount Dracula is on the mend,” Kimmel said. “Rudy Giuliani claims he’s doing ‘fine’ even though everything we’ve seen from him for the past four years would indicate otherwise. But, you know what? You can never count him out. If Rudy Giuliani could survive the Transylvanian Rinderpest Epidemic of 1304 he should have no trouble with this.”
According to Giuliani, he received the same experimental antibody cocktail, Regeneron (or REGEN-CoV2), that President Trump, Chris Christie, and several other Republican officials were given.
“I have to say, the minute that I took the cocktail yesterday, I felt a hundred percent better. It works very quickly. Wow!” Giuliani said today on TalkRadio 77 WABC, where he did not have to show his face.
Calling it a “VIP cocktail of experimental drugs,” Kimmel slammed Giuliani and co. for getting a treatment that Americans sans Trump administration ties can’t receive (though it has been given emergency FDA approval, and will cost around $1,500 once it’s available).
“Why aren’t we madder about the fact that Rudy and Donnie and Jr. and all the swamp monsters pretending to be human are getting a special miracle cure nobody else seems to be able to get?” asked Kimmel. “And why didn’t Herman Cain get that? He was their friend. Is it like one of those movies where the Black guy gets killed first? What is going on there?”
Eventually, Kimmel addressed Giuliani’s release from Georgetown University Hospital, where he spent the night under observation.
“He was released today. They put him in a car. You can see that car here,” explained Kimmel, throwing to footage of Giuliani being driven away. “He gave reporters a thumbs-up as he drove by, and if all goes well he should be back screaming outside of a dildo store in no time.”