It remains unclear whether the Michael Cohen hearing was meant to distract from Donald Trump’s trip to Vietnam or the other way around, but either way, the president came home empty-handed after his latest nuclear summit with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un.
“Things seemed to be going smoothly for Trump and Kim,” Jimmy Kimmel said in his monologue Thursday night, recounting the details of the dinner they shared. “Sadly, the meal did not lead to a deal. It resulted in nothing.”
“Trump literally got more done in his summit with Kim Kardashian than Kim Jong Un,” the host joked, referring to the Oval Office meeting with the reality star that led Trump to commute the sentence of Alice Johnson.
With Kim unwilling to unilaterally give up his nuclear program, Kimmel said, “Trump comes home tiny empty-handed.” In response to the president explaining why he “had to walk” away from the negotiations, he added, “You know, there was a time when Donald Trump wasn’t even able to walk in Vietnam because of his terrible bone spurs, but thank God those held up.”
In his press conference announcing the non-deal, Trump called his counterpart “quite a guy and quite a character,” to which Kimmel replied, “Yeah, what a character. He poisoned his brother and put his uncle in front of a firing squad. What a hoot!”
“President Trump, for his part, is doing everything he can to present this as a positive development,” he added. “He claims that, despite the fact that talks ended early, there are no hard feelings between him and his new little friend.” Kimmel said their “very warm” relationship actually reminds him of Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper.
“The president left, he flew home today,” Kimmel added. “Or maybe he was extradited. I’m not sure. After Michael Cohen’s testimony yesterday, it could be either.”
Despite the fact that “nobody makes a bigger deal—about making big deals—than Donald Trump,” in the end, he concluded, the president “flew all the way there and got nothing.”