The latest rank opportunist to all too conveniently distance themselves from the Trump administration shortly before releasing a tell-all book is Stephanie Grisham, who served as Trump’s White House press secretary from July 2019 to April 2020. During that time she held zero press conferences, before moving on to become Melania Trump’s press secretary and chief of staff (doing what exactly, who knows). Grisham’s new book, I’ll Take Your Questions Now—because, you know, she didn’t take any when it actually mattered—contains embarrassing new details about the 45th president, from his “terrifying” temper to overall buffoonery.
Grisham left the Trump White House following the Jan. 6 Capitol insurrection, and on Tuesday night, Jimmy Kimmel reviewed his favorite tidbits from the book.
“Turns out this Trump character’s a real nut,” cracked Kimmel. “First of all, he cuts his own hair with a giant pair of scissors… Let’s just run through. Grisham says that during the G-20 summit in 2019, Trump told Vladimir Putin before their meeting, ‘OK, I’m going to act a little tougher with you for a few minutes. But it’s for the cameras, and after they leave we’ll talk. You understand.’ This is not something a president says to another world leader—especially Vladimir Putin. This is something Hulk Hogan would say to Andre the Giant before WrestleMania.”
But the most embarrassing part, perhaps, is Grisham’s account of a phone call after Stormy Daniels came forward to allege she’d had an affair with Trump while Melania was pregnant. (Daniels described the bizarre episode in her 2018 book as: “I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.”) The former press secretary describes how Trump allegedly “called [Grisham] from Air Force One specifically to let her know his penis was not small or toadstool-shaped—which is basically confirmation that his penis is small and toadstool-shaped,” joked Kimmel.
Then there were the “temper tantrums.” Apparently, in order to calm him down, Grisham’s then-boyfriend would have to play show tunes—and one of the songs they’d play most frequently was “Memory” from the Broadway musical Cats.
“Of course that’s Trump’s favorite show tune!” Kimmel laughed. “From the only musical that grabs you by the pussy, Cats!”
“Stephanie Grisham, who sat and quietly watched all this lunacy go down, admits she should’ve spoken up more. More?” asked Kimmel. “In the nine months she was press secretary, she didn’t hold a single press conference. She should’ve spoken up once!”