After gleefully cheering President Donald Trump’s second impeachment on Wednesday night, Jimmy Kimmel had even more good news to celebrate on Thursday.
Not only has Trump already started moving out of the White House, but the president’s mood has been described as “sullen” and “vengeful” and he’s “even lashing out at his No. 1 dirty deeds-doer Rudy Giuliani.” The host was referring to a new report from the Washington Post that Trump has instructed aides not to pay Giuliani for his failed legal efforts to overturn the election results.
“Working for Trump and expecting to get paid is like having dinner with Chris Christie and expecting a doggie bag,” Kimmel joked. After noting that Giuliani’s rate is reportedly $20,000 per day, he added, “Money well spent.”
“He could’ve hired Gary Busey for a hundred bucks to do the same thing,” he added. “That’s a lot for an incompetent attorney.” And then, “I wonder who leaked this story… Maybe it was Giuliani's head!”
Perhaps expecting that he won’t have the occasion to make any more jokes at Giuliani’s expense pretty soon, Kimmel decided to leave it all on the table.
“Rudy Giuliani traveled around the world,” he said. “He went from being America’s mayor to the parking lot of a dildo store trying to dig up dirt for Trump. The only dirt he could find was coming out of his hair, but what does he get for his troubles? Not paid for the work he did.”
And Giuliani is not the only member of Trump’s inner circle who has been ceremonially thrown under the bus. “Mike Pence had to bend over and stuff his ‘evangelical Christian values’ in the little hole God tries to forget,” Kimmel said. “Last week, his boss called him the ‘p-word’ and sent a mob of lunatics to kill him.”
“And then there’s Michael Cohen who took out a mortgage on his house to pay off Donald Trump’s mistress,” he continued. “What did he get? He got prison. Look out Eric and Junior, you two are next!”
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