The two-time Oscar nominee returned to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on Thanksgiving eve to skewer President Donald Trump’s increasingly unhinged lawyer, who just today held a fake “hearing” in Pennsylvania to baselessly claim voter fraud in the 2020 election.
After recapping Giuliani’s very bad month for viewers, Colbert said, “The president’s lawyer is in the midst of a legal fight he can’t win on behalf of a client who no longer trusts him” before welcoming his big guest to the show.
“Hold on! Stop!” Lithgow’s wine-chugging Giuliani began. “Before we start the interview, I have to ask: Are you a Borat? Because, legally, you have to tell me if you’re a Borat!” When the host assured him that he was not “a Borat,” Giuliani replied, “Good, let me turn on the microphone I’ve hidden in my pants. Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?”
Asked by Colbert if he’s “lost the president’s trust by spouting so many unfounded conspiracy theories,” Giuliani shouted, “I haven’t lost his trust! It was stolen! Just like all the votes that were stolen by the socialists at Euro Disney! And it’s not just Mickey Mouse! I have a signed affidavit swearing that there was a single dalmatian who voted 101 times!”
As for Sidney Powell, the lawyer who was apparently let go from Trump’s legal team this past week, Giuliani revealed that they already found an “even better” lawyer to replace her: “A young woman named Elle Woods who went to Harvard Law to impress her ex-boyfriend.”
“Mr. Giuliani, you were once a respected figure in American politics and law,” Colbert said later. “Aren’t you worried about sacrificing your reputation for a president who now says you look like a fool?”
“A fool?! Does this look like a fool?!” he asked, black liquid running down the sides of his face. “I’m cool, calm, and coherent. I’m America's mayor, baby!”
When Colbert inquired if it was in fact hair dye leaking from his head, Giuliani explained, “I don’t use hair dye. When I hit capacity, my body excretes Merlot. It’s not embarrassing, it’s convenient!” Wiping it off and putting it in his mouth, he added, “I’m getting notes of leather and blackberry.”
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