“We begin with the United Kingdom: America’s deadbeat dad,” John Oliver announced.
“This week, the U.K. weathered a visit from Donald Trump, who met with the queen while wearing the world’s most ill-fitting tuxedo, and sat down for an interview with Piers Morgan in which, for some reason, he was given a Winston Churchill hat,” explained the comedian.
Oliver then threw to a clip of Morgan, one of the world’s premier Trump bootlickers (and ethically bankrupt journalists), gifting his pal a Winston Churchill-style hat during an interview on live television.
“Oh, it’s a little big! Let me see how that looks? I think Winston looked much better in this hat,” Trump remarked.
“I gotta say, I actually agree with Trump on that one: He does look like shit in that hat,” cracked Oliver. “Although, in his defense, anyone looks like an asshole when wearing a Churchill hat. Even Churchill kind of looked like an asshole when wearing a Churchill hat. The difference with Trump is: He still looks like an asshole without the hat.”
The HBO host also explored how Trump was visiting Oliver’s native U.K. at a strange time—the country’s prime minister, Theresa May, recently stepped down after failing to negotiate a Brexit agreement, but is staying on as the Tories scramble to choose her successor. And one of the leaders is none other than Boris Johnson, the former foreign secretary of the U.K. and ex-mayor of London.
“Johnson is widely known, both at home and abroad, for a few reasons—none of them good,” said Oliver. “Before he helped sell Brexit through a series of lies, he served as the mayor of London, where he embarrassed himself through stunts like getting stuck on a zip line…” There was also an incident where he ran over a young boy in a soccer game during a state visit to Japan.
“There may be no more apt metaphor for modern-day Britain than an overconfident old man steamrolling a young person,” joked Oliver.
“But Johnson doesn’t just seem like a fucking moron—he is a fucking moron,” he continued. “During his time as foreign secretary, officials and diplomats characterized him as ‘woefully underprepared,’ ‘making crucial mistakes,’ and being—and here I’m quoting directly—‘a fucking moron.’”
Unfortunately, Oliver argued that the other candidates for PM aren’t that much better.