OUT-FOXED

Jordan Klepper Roasts Fox News After Massive $787 Million Dominion Settlement

“The Daily Show” guest host says he’s slightly disappointed that Fox News’ rotating stream of talking heads won’t be forced to testify.

Believe it or not, “widespread lying and deceit may have some consequences.”

That’s Daily Show guest host Jordan Klepper’s big takeaway from the gargantuan bit of news that Dominion Voting Systems and Fox News officially reached a settlement in the former’s defamation suit, just hours before their trial was set to begin—to the tune of $787.5 million.

It’s a huge amount of money for anyone, and will definitely hurt the Rupert Murdoch-owned network, which Klepper says is already facing some financial challenges. “Tucker Carlson could only afford one facial expression,” he joked.

While Klepper is undoubtedly “glad there’s some accountability here,” he said he can’t help but feel a twinge of disappointment that he won’t get to witness what undoubtedly would have been a three-ring legal circus had Fox’s on-air talent been compelled to testify. “It would have been like the Seinfeld finale. But instead of Soup Nazis it’s just… Nazis.”

As for where Fox might want to look to find the money to pay up? Unsurprisingly, Klepper had some ideas. “Sadly, they have to fire Brian Kilmeade’s writing tutor,” Klepper said. “Jeanine Pirro has to switch to the cheap box of wine.”

“Development on a third Doocy has been halted,” Klepper continued. “They’re going to have to switch from Jesse Watters to tap water. And, of course, they’re going to have to put down Sean Hannity.”

For more, listen to The Daily Show’s Jordan Klepper on The Last Laugh podcast.

See more of our coverage in your search results.

ADD THE DAILY BEAST ON GOOGLE

Jennifer M. Wood

Got a tip? Send it to The Daily Beast here.