COLD CASE CRACKED

Rest Easy, America. Police Have Located the Blue Bell Ice Cream Licker

Lufkin cops say the investigation was hampered by a “catfish” artist who falsely claimed responsibility for the stunt.

The crime of the century has been solved. Yes, police in Texas say they have identified the dastardly character who—wait for it—licked a Blue Bell ice cream tub in a Walmart and then put it back. Lufkin cops say the licker is a juvenile who, along with her boyfriend, admitted to the viral stunt. She will not face adult charges. In a Facebook post, police explained why it had taken them so long to crack the case. “A ‘catfish’ with a similar screen name (within one letter of the suspect’s screen name) began taking credit for it,” they wrote. “It was actually the catfish and NOT our suspect who bragged on Instagram about the incident saying: ‘Yeah, I really did that. You can call it Flu Bell ice cream now ‘cause I was a lil sick last week. Repost yourself doing this. Let’s see if we can start an epidemic (literally).’”