Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig are two of the most popular SNL alumni in the show’s recent history, but at a certain point, both chose to move on from the sketch comedy juggernaut to pursue other projects. Both actresses, according to a new interview with The New York Times, found that the decision to leave carried a lot of weight. “I thought motherhood was me leaving, and then I couldn’t leave. I would watch the show from home and my friends were on it, and I would be very upset,” Rudolph, who first departed SNL in 2007, told the Times. “I felt like I died and was watching my life. I wasn’t ready to leave when I left. I kind of left twice, I said goodbye, and I was like, Oh, I’m back for one more.” Wiig, on the other hand, felt more secure in her decision to leave in 2012, she told the Times. “I knew when it was time to leave,” she said. “That place thrives on you not totally knowing your place. I always said the moment I feel totally comfortable, here’s the moment I have to go.”