Meet the Scalia Death Truthers: Was He Murdered by Obama or Aliens?
Wingnuts across the country are convinced he didn’t die by natural causes. And the only culprits that could be completely ruled out were giants.
On Saturday evening, conspiracy theorist radio host Alex Jones, red-faced with an unfortunate pustule on his forehead, delivered an emergency broadcast on his Facebook page.
“Associate Supreme Court Justice Anthony Scalia died earlier today at a ranch outside Big Bend, south Texas,” Jones, furrowing his brow into a wavy crest, said approximately three inches from a camera.
All of this is true, besides Scalia’s first name being “Anthony.”
But as the blunt title of the video suggests, Jones had other things on his mind instead of a memorial for the conservative judge.
“I wish it was natural causes,” Jones said of Scalia’s death, which was determined to have been caused by a heart attack. “But my gut tells me no. If this is an assassination, it signifies that they’re dropping the hammer. That’s the canary in the coal mine.”
Who is they in this scenario? Well, anyone in President Obama’s administration that has been culpable for a litany of offenses including but not limited to private funding of the Islamic State and blackmailing Supreme Court justices for desired outcomes. In this “season of treason,” Jones said the American public would be “fools not to ask the question.”
“My gut tells me they killed him and all the intellectual evidence lays it out,” Jones said, his face deepening sunburned shades of red. He suggested that another conservative Supreme Court justice, Clarence Thomas, could die of a “heart attack next week,” because Obama is on a no-holds barred crusade to fortify the New World Order as soon as he can.
And he will mercilessly have anyone killed, including current presidential candidates, who may stand in his way.
“Maybe they’ll kill Ron Paul. Maybe they’ll kill Donald Trump next,” Jones said of the other red pudgy-faced man with whom he seems to share a deep bromance. “They all had heart attacks. How many more of these are we going to sit here and put up with? Or maybe their airplane blows up.”
Jones also said that Scalia himself—while alive, of course—told fellow conspiracy-monger Matt Drudge that government officials are leading a cavalry to come after everyone including the journalists mentioned here as well. “It’s really dangerous,” Jones said.
Trump’s campaign did not respond when The Daily Beast asked if they were concerned about Obama’s plot to kill their candidate.
Trump, as he’s want to do, subtly egged on the wingnuts in an interview on Michael Savage’s radio show on Monday.
“It’s a horrible topic, but they say they found a pillow on his face, which is a pretty unusual place to find a pillow. I can’t give you an answer,” Trump said stoking the conspiracy flames.
The logistics of the Scalia murder plot are unclear but the wingnut sleuths of the nether-regions of the Internet point to one damning piece of evidence.
“We discovered the judge in bed, a pillow over his head. His bedclothes were unwrinkled,” John Poindexter, the owner of the Cibolo Creek Creek Ranch in Marfa where Scalia was found dead, said. “He was lying very restfully. It looked like he had not quite awakened from a nap.”
Jones, who did not respond to multiple text messages from The Daily Beast, never specified how Scalia died. But as the YouTube user NatureHacker—bearded and likely holed up in a bomb shelter with plenty of tinfoil hats—pointed out, Poindexter is a Vietnam War veteran who was awarded the Presidential Unit Citation by, wait for it, none other than President Obama.
Connect the dots, people!
Mike King, a writer for the conspiracy website Tomato Bubble, and the author of two books detailing the rise of the New World Order, is pretty certain there was foul play involved in Scalia’s death.
“Is it also possible that an evil murdering homosexual communist President with only 10 months left in office could have ordered a hit so that he could drive that final nail into America’s coffin? Why not?” King, asking the questions on everyone’s mind, wrote.
King, who refers to the president as the “100% evil demon Obongo” on his website, said Scalia’s murder was an organized effort.
“I believe, with 90% certainty, that Scalia was murdered by the same high political forces, (New World Order gang) that control the CIA and nurtured the stunning rise of Barack Obama from ‘community organizer’ to State Legislature to U.S. Senator and President,” King wrote in an email to The Daily Beast, when asked about the alleged murder. He posits that these forces used either a toxin or a “heart attack weapon” to get Scalia out of the way and that because they killed once, they could kill again.
“It’s naïve to think these types of activities don’t happen at the high levels of power. Understand The Godfather and you understand how the world works. Though I doubt they would make a move on anyone else now because they only kill when they have to,” King wrote describing a presidential administration like lions hunting Saharan gazelles.
To King, Obama is just “small potatoes.” He’s thinking about the big guys. The guys who gave Obama the orders to do such a thing. Specifically George Soros or David Rockefeller, the 100-year-old New York banker who apparently has been orchestrating the New World Order for years.
“Of course, if tried and found guilty, Obama should be impeached and arrested. --- but that will NEVER happen,” King surmised.
At this point, you may be wondering what a “heart attack weapon” is and how it could have been used in a kind of mob-ordered hit on Antonin Scalia. Thankfully, Mark Shouldice, known in the conspiracy theorist circuit as Mark Dice, has an answer.
He wouldn’t say flat out that he thinks Scalia was murdered but rather sent The Daily Beast a video detailing how it could have been done. “As a media analyst, my report uncovered some of the reasons why people are suspicious of the death or believe there was foul play,” wrote Dice, who is best known for launching a campaign to inform American troops overseas that the 9/11 attack was an inside job.
“Like the fact that the CIA built a frozen poison dart gun for assassinations 40 years ago, which most Americans have no idea exists and probably wouldn’t believe it if they held it in their hand or watched the Church Hearings.”
Dice, who looks like Edward Norton if he actually lived in the world of Fight Club, is referring to the conspiracy that the CIA uses a gun that is electrically powered by a battery and fires a frozen water bullet filled with shellfish toxin, which upon impact induces a heart attack in victims.
“They will celebrate the death and the extermination of the Christians,” Dice says in the video referring to the liberal agenda which put the gears in motion to get Scalia killed.
“Rest in peace, bro,” he says at one point, honoring another fallen comrade who fell victim to a weapon that sounds like something Mr. Freeze would keep in his pantry.
But if for some reason, the government did not order a hit on Scalia using a poison shellfish gun, who else could have been responsible?
“As described, the scene appears to have been staged or cleaned up!” wrote Steve Quayle of SteveQuayle.com. He is the author of the 1997 classic Aliens and Fallen Angels as well as 2002’s page-turner Giants: Master Builders of Prehistoric and Ancient Civilizations.
Naturally, Quayle addressed the possibility of extraterrestrials killing a Supreme Court justice.
“NOT AT THIS POINT,” he wrote when asked if aliens killed Scalia. “BUT I HAVE FEELERS OUT TO ANSWER WHO IS BEHIND THIS HIT!”
As for the prehistoric giants who built Rome and the Egyptian pyramids with their bare hands, Quayle doesn’t think they had a hand in this fiasco.
“NO NOT AT ALL,” Quayle, fond of the caps lock, wrote when asked about the theory.
No matter how Antonin Scalia died, it’s a big deal to the sector of the world that makes money hawking conspiracies.
“It doesn’t matter. He is dead. He was 79. We have to look forward and save the Supreme Court,” Pamela Geller wrote to The Daily Beast in an email exchange. Geller contends that Obama is a secret Muslim and believes Osama bin Laden was killed during a coup in the White House because the president was too afraid to order the attack himself.
Geller suggested that even if Scalia were killed, no one would ever find out.
Now faced with the choice of a new Supreme Court justice appointment, it remains to be seen whether President Obama will choose a giant, an alien, or a secret agent for the New World Order.