Michigan Protects Gun Nuts’ Privacy Instead of the Rest of Us

Republican governor Rick Snyder signed legislation to keep the names of gun owners out of public record. Is that what a nation with epidemic levels of murder needs?

Bill Pugliano/Getty

With new information available that our gun culture costs us the lives of nearly two children per week--70 percent of those deaths preventable--and the National Rifle Association doing everything it can to make sure stalkers and those who've committed domestic violence still have access to ready weaponry with which to kill you, it sure is good know Governor Rick Snyder of Michigan signed legislation dealing with guns.

Yes, Snyder reacted to what would be considered a moral and existential crisis in any other high income country by…signing a bill protecting the "privacy" of gun owners:

Governor Rick Snyder on Tuesday signed into law an NRA pack of bills giving gun owners more privacy. 

These new laws make fire arms records like licensing, registration and concealed carry permitting -- information once accessible by requests under the Freedom of Information Act -- now completely confidential. The information is available only to law enforcement for investigative purposes.

Because if the last few months, or years, or decades have taught Rick Snyder anything, it's that gun owners are the real victims to be protected in our society.

Gun down classrooms full of six and seven-years olds, well, we'd better have a long, hard and inane debate about whether Billy Bob's right to carry an assault weapon into a church--one that he got from a private seller at the local gun show who had no idea whether or not he's done time for murder--is being improperly maligned by enacting universal background checks. But some small newspaper in suburban New York decides to publish a list of gun owners in your neighborhood and Holy Moses we'd better baton down the hatches!

In this case, lest the persecuted gun owners of the Michigan feel a speck less than safe under the bed in their panic room, Snyder was able to read them exactly the bedtime story that should alleviate the fear that if your neighbor knows you're packing heat he might…what exactly? This is the United States of America, where your average block is better armed than ISIS.

I'd honestly like to know what it is these tough guys open-carrying at a Target near you think is going to happen when we find out they're armed in their home too. Doesn't the NRA--and your average gun nut on a rolling basis--shout ad nauseam about how when choosing to commit mass murder, your basic nutcase sits down to closely analyze a color-coded map of gun-free zones so he/she can strike?

If that were true--and far be it from me to ever accuse the NRA and their dedicated worshippers among America's favorite high school heroes of telling an untruth--shouldn't gun owners want people to know that their houses are not gun-free zones? Also, while we're on this topic, why does the guy or gal who chooses to play urban cowboy once again get their "rights" prioritized over those of the rest of us, who might want to avoid walking in front of that particular house containing mass ordnance? Or not live next to that special brand of genius who goes all in on the gun-cleaning with ammo in the chamber?

As I've asked before, is my constitutional right to have the "general welfare' of my family protected by my government once again taking a backseat to the trumped-up, Ron Paul newsletter's-greatest-hits being spouted by local members of the Dirty Dozen fantasy club?

Also, not shockingly, if you'e familiar with the NRA's war against information, from studies done on their product to what your doctor or commanding officer can tell you to what information the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms can access, there is this little tidbit tucked into the bill:

“The information will still be available to law enforcement officials for certain purposes, though there are new restrictions on when police can access the records.”

Well by all means let's create more red tape for police, because it's not like they're being executed as we pay very-special attention to the "rights" of guys who spend time on Cliven Bundy's A-Team over the lives of our peace officers and other first responders.

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Of course, the irony of all of this is that these guys would be the first to want to be notified if former child molesters were living on their street. They aren't so big on the privacy thing then. And you know what, in that case I agree with them.

Because sometimes the safety of our families, outweighs your privacy, if we can be harmed by it. The difference is, I'm basing my beliefs on The Golden Rule, not an intellectual soup whose main ingredients are two-parts selfish and three-parts obtuse.

But thank you Rick Snyder. Thank you for reminding us that to you and your ilk in the money-grubbing NRA, in the roughly zero-percent chance a Michigan newspaper will publish a story on who has a gun lying around their humble abode, will act post-haste. Or behave in the manner non-venal human beings with a functioning super-ego would respond after little children have their bodies riddled with bullets, because of the culture of death you and our cronies in the NRA have worked so hard to help proliferate.