Nice Try, Donald Trump, but You’re No Mr. T

After the nicknamer-in-chief gave himself a new one this week, internet sprung into action.

The Associated Press fact-checked his latest myths, while Twitter mostly just pitied the fool trying to steal the thunder of Mr. T, who didn’t respond to a request for comment from The Daily Beast.

The iconic former wrestler and actor known for his athleticism, mohawk and gold chains and the reality host-turned-president have a few things in common: famous catchphrases, a signature hairstyle, and a spot in the WWE Hall of Fame. But they also have many differences, among them:

Mr. T served in the military, while Trump evaded the draft five times.

In the mid-'70s, Mr. T enlisted in the United States Army and served in the Military Police Corps. Five years later, his drill sergeant rewarded him with a letter of recommendation; he was elected “Top Trainee of the Cycle;” and he was promoted to Squad Leader. He was discharged a year later.

Trump evaded military commitments during the Vietnam War by receiving several draft deferments for “heel spurs.” Trump, who says he doesn’t remember much about the supposed medical condition that saved him from serving in a war, has criticized military practices like mail-in voting and mocked war heroes as commander in chief.  

Mr. T has been active in hurricane relief since 2005, while President T likes to tease survivors

After Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans in 2005, Mr. T sold his signature gold chains to benefit charities. Since then, he’s started wearing costume jewelry instead. Why? “Because, as a Christian, I felt it would be a sin against God to wear my gold when the people lost everything,” he told USA Today. “I remember the bodies floating in the water, and I felt it would be disrespectful and insensitive to people who died, so I said I’d never wear my gold again. Only gold I have is the gold in my heart.” The celebrity has continued advocating for hurricane relief since, often donating and rallying for his fan base to support new efforts.

Meanwhile, Trump—who has lied ever since 9/11 about what he saw then and about supporting charities in its aftermath—went to Puerto Rico after Maria to toss paper towels into a crowd in his “best Steph Curry impression,” to Houston after Harvey to encourage survivors sheltering in a convention center to “have a good time,” and to North Carolina after Florence to congratulate an older man with a yacht washed up next to his ruined house: “At least you got a nice boat out of the deal.”

Mr. T’s an exercise buff, while Trump thinks exercise is “bad for you.”

It’s not surprising that the former bouncer, wrestler, and movie star enjoys working out. Even at 66 years old, the cancer survivor has a home gym and continues to go hard.

President T, on the other hand, reportedly believes “that a person, like a battery, is born with a finite amount of energy,"and exercise drains it. The 72-year-old who gorges on fast food once warned an executive preparing for a triathlon: “You are going to die young because of this.”

Actually, President T seems like whoever Mr. T had in mind when he replied a few years ago to a viewer who “hated going to the gym.”

“Without pain, there ain’t no gain, fool,” Mr. T said. My advice to you is this: quit hiding from your pain because your pain is driving me insane.”

Mr. T once cut down 70 trees in three hours, while President T advises other people to rake more

Mr. T recalled being ordered to chop down trees as a punishment while he was serving in the military: “I was up in Wisconsin. I was in the military training—National Guard. It was hot up there. There was a commander throwing their weight around, and I was just above private, so they told me to do stuff, I said, ‘OK, no problem,’” Mr. T recalled. “And I just got to cutting and cutting and just sweating it. Boom! Then the company commander came and got on the guy’s case who told me to do it, but I just kept cutting.”

President T, meantime, bizarrely claimed raking could have prevented the California wildfires, or cutting down trees. But we didn’t see him chopping down 70 trees in three hours. Just saying.

Mr. T has offered moral support to children who have been sexually assaulted while Trump has been accused of sexual assault  and has repeatedly mocked assault survivors

In 1985, Mr. T stood in a courtroom alongside children who testified about being sexually assaulted and molested. Mr. T didn’t know any of the children. He was there, the Chicago Tribune reported, to offer “moral support.”

''(Defendant) Raymond Buckey has frightened the children so much that they were afraid he would come after them,'' Mr. T’s spokesman said at the time. ''But they believe Mr. T will protect them, and they feel more confident about telling the truth if he is present in the courtroom when they testify.”

President T, on the other hand, bragged about grabbing women, has faced accusations of sexual assault from more than a dozen women and repeatedly defended other men credibly accused of sexual assaults.   

Most recently, he mocked Dr. Christine Blasey Ford when she said that she couldn’t recall some specific details when she testified that now Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh has sexually assaulted her when they were students more than three decades ago.

President T sneered:

“Oh good, how did you get home?—I don’t remember. How did you get there?—I don’t remember. Where is the place?—I don’t remember. How many years ago was it?—I don’t know,” Trump said at a campaign rally. “I don’t know!” he shouted.