CrosswordNewsletters
DAILY BEAST
  • Capitol Riots
  • Covid-19
  • Cheat Sheet
  • Politics
  • Entertainment
  • Media
  • World
  • Half Full
  • U.S. News
  • Scouted
  • Travel
Coronavirus

Norm Macdonald Gets Real Dark in First Great Coronavirus Stand-Up Set

‘TAKE ME NOW’

“It’s funny how we all now know how we’re going to die,” the SNL alum joked on stage before the comedy clubs started shutting down.

Matt Wilstein

Senior Writer

Updated Mar. 15, 2020 4:54AM ET / Published Mar. 14, 2020 9:38PM ET 
Norm Macdonald nails first great coronavirus stand-up set.
YouTube

The late-night shows are shutting down. Comedians are canceling their tours. But before the comedy clubs could close their doors, Norm Macdonald got in what could be the first great bit about our new coronavirus pandemic reality.

“I wasn’t going to talk about the coronavirus,” the Saturday Night Live alum said this week on stage at the Irvine Improv. “But on the way here, I got really ill.”

Macdonald went on to say that his plan is “just to not die” until they find a cure. “It’s funny how Big Pharma is so evil… until now,” he joked. “It’s like, what is it, $200 a pill? Yeah, that’s good, that’s fine, I’ll take it. Gimme all you got.”

    It only got darker from there. “It’s funny how we all now know how we’re going to die,” he told the crowd at one point to cathartic laughter. “It’s just a matter of what order at this point.” At another point he added, “I mean, who knows how you’re going to die? I mean, we all know now, but think back a week ago.” 

    After inadvertently touching his face, Macdonald asked, “Remember the good old days when washing your hands didn’t take three hours? Just take me now.”

    “I don’t want to alarm anybody at all,” he said later. “But I could sneeze on you and it would be the equivalent of a nine-millimeter.” He joked that at this point, he was “more virus than host” and asked, “Fuck, who knew that it was going to end this way?”

    With comedy clubs shuttering and people avoiding crowds, this will likely be Macdonald’s final stand-up set for a while.

    “It’s morally wrong for me to do stand-up and cause strangers to possibly become sick. And now, with this virus, it seems even more wrong,” he tweeted on Thursday. “I’m postponing my next two gigs, but am hopeful a vaccine comes that protects us all from Tom Hanks Disease (THD).”

      For more, listen and subscribe to The Last Laugh podcast.

      Matt Wilstein

      Senior Writer

      @mattwilsteinmatt.wilstein@thedailybeast.com

      Got a tip? Send it to The Daily Beast here.

      READ THIS LIST

      DAILY BEAST
      • Capitol Riots
      • Covid-19
      • Cheat Sheet
      • Politics
      • Entertainment
      • Media
      • World
      • Half Full
      • U.S. News
      • Scouted
      • Travel
      • Beast Inside
      • Crossword
      • Newsletters
      • About
      • Contact
      • Tips
      • Jobs
      • Advertise
      • Help
      • Privacy
      • Code of Ethics & Standards
      • Diversity
      • Terms & Conditions
      • Copyright & Trademark
      • Sitemap
      • Coupons
      © 2021 The Daily Beast Company LLC