BUILD THE WALL

Face Masks and Zoom Orgies: NYC Health Department’s New COVID-19 Sex Guidelines Are Very Kinky

The government-issued sex advice recommends New Yorkers get “creative” and “kinky” with masks and walls.

The NYC Health Department is back with more sex tips for these trying, lonely times. In March, the department encouraged New Yorkers to stick to masturbation or sex with people they live with in order to minimize the risk of transmitting or contracting the coronavirus. New advice released on Monday took it up a notch, encouraging people to wear face masks during sex and to get creative. The government agency suggests avoiding human-to-human contact by getting “kinky” with “walls”—recommending what one can only assume to mean using a glory hole. For those who have taken advantage of online dating, the department recommends keeping sex online, using Zoom, sexting, or “subscription-based fan platforms.”

While the guidance issued in March had told New Yorkers to steer clear of group sex, the new advice says those who engage in it should limit the number of partners and make sure only to have sex with people they trust. The advice says COVID-19 spreads through saliva, mucus and breath but it’s still unclear if it spreads through sex.