Jimmy Kimmel has returned from his summer hiatus with fighting words for Donald Trump, his new hair, and his administration.
Kimmel signed off on June 18, replaced by guest hosts including Jelly Roll, Tiffany Haddish, and sworn Trump enemy Rosie O’Donnell, who jumped at the chance to rile the 80-year-old president.
His return on Tuesday also marked the 4,000th episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, which launched on ABC in 2003.
“We’ve done 4,000 of these... it’s a lot of shows,” Kimmel said during Tuesday’s opening monologue. “According to the White House, it’s too many shows.”
Kimmel added, “There are those who said we would never last this long. There are even those who used the regulatory might of the FCC to unconstitutionally try to make sure we didn’t last this long. But we did it the hard way, Brendan. And we are still here.”
Trump-appointed Federal Communications Committee Chair Brendan Carr was responsible for getting Kimmel yanked off air for for less than a week last September, after he took offense to comments about the MAGA reaction to the murder of right-wing activist Charlie Kirk.
Despite the ongoing threats from Carr and Trump, Kimmel has refused to back down from calling out the octogenarian president.
He joked on Tuesday that when he left for his summer break, America was still at war with Iran, gas prices and inflation were sky-high, and 84-year-old Mitch McConnell was either alive or dead.
“I guess they don’t even care anymore because they’ve seemed to have just stopped trying to find out,” Kimmel said of the senator who has yet to provide concrete proof of life after being hospitalized on June 14.
Referencing the president’s cursed reflecting pool, Kimmel said, “Wait, are you telling me the president of the United States had three full months and spent $20 million and couldn’t even get a pool cleaned?”
After showing images of the murky water, Kimmel asked, “Is it possible he’s been pumping in Diet Coke, because I thought he was supposed to drain the swamp? He turned it into gravy instead.
“How are we supposed to win the war with Iran when we can’t even win the war against algae?”
Kimmel also fired off more jibes at Trump over the price of gas, which has soared since his war with Iran started in February. The talk show host christened Trump “Benito Gasolini,” after the Italian fascist dictator Benito Mussolini.
“On Friday, fuel prices hit an all-time high,” Kimmel said. “The Strait of Hormuz is still closed. At this point, Blockbuster Video has a better chance of reopening than the Strait of Hormuz.”
The comedian also found time to mock Trump’s glow-up with surprise brown-tinged hair, which was premiered on Friday.
“The leaves are changing colors and so is the president’s head,” Kimmel said.
“Is it possible to have a midlife crisis at 80 years old? It’s like he’s aging in reverse. He’s our own little Benjamin Glutton.”
In attempting to get to the bottom of Trump’s “hair mystery”, Kimmel cited the Daily Beast’s Michael Wolff, who revealed the president has a dedicated aide to shadow him with a kit full of emergency hair patches to fix any pressing follicular issues.
“You know when you’re playing golf and you take a divot and have to pick it up and put it back and step on it?” Kimmel said. “That’s somebody’s job. There’s a real-life White House head-patcher.”
The Daily Beast has contacted the White House for comment.
