This piece first ran on the Obsessed by Kevin Fallon Substack. Subscribe here to read more like it!
Many Real Housewives are known for being partiers. They “whoop it up.” They indulge in “turtle time,” do the splits as a party trick, slur suspect stories about how they “partied with John-John Kennedy and Madonna all the time, or, god forbid, flip tables.
Heather Dubrow, however, throws the parties: the posh events with eye-spinning price tags that serve as the very expensive venues for the drunken melee.
The Real Housewives of Orange County star is the aspirational ideal of the “lifestyles of the rich and famous” prototype for the Bravo franchise. Her time on the show is highlighted by the high standard she holds herself and her castmates, not to mention the real estate porn of her and husband Terry Dubrow, of plastic surgery reality show Botched fame, buying and selling their various properties worth upwards of eight figures.
Dubrow’s famous soirees act as centerpieces of pivotal episodes of RHOC, often with Bravo editors cheekily dropping the astronomical price of the event on the lower third of the screen—as is the case with the landmark Season 20 premiere of the series. Revealing how much these shindigs cost in front of a camera crew? It’s not so much bragging as it is candor, part of the gig when you’re a reality star.
“I wish I didn’t have to share that,” Dubrow told me once, while I sipped champagne with her at the Four Seasons hotel in Manhattan, where she was hosting yet another party. “But if I don’t say it out loud, [editors] put a chyron underneath [with the price]. It’s like when I build my houses. ‘How much are your cabinets?’ I go, I don’t wanna talk about that. Then ‘$200,000’ appears on screen. You know, I can’t win.”
A summer later, we’re back with flutes fizzing with champers in the same red velvet seats, gossiping about her castmates just weeks after the Season 20 premiere aired. The episode, naturally, featured an event Dubrow hosted and splurged on: a Valentine’s Day “Hearts and Heel” party where guests could enjoy a perfume bar, customize merchandise, go “fishing for diamonds,” and get real tattoos.
(The bill on this one: $75,000, an arguable clapback to a comment from returning original Housewife Vicki Gunvalson that Dubrow disputes, that husband Terry had inherited his wealth. “See all this? It was paid for by boobs!” Dubrow bellowed mischievously, referencing Terry’s plastic surgery empire.)
Ever the hostess, she’s immediately apologetic for things that have gone wrong at the current cocktail gathering that a plebian like myself would never have known. She had wanted to throw the party at the café at the Louis Vuitton flagship, but corporate needed too much advanced notice. The flowers that were supposed to be on our tables at the Four Seasons never showed. The food was wrong.
Listen, the bubbly is flowing, I tell her. Cheers.
Our sitdown was a chance to unpack all the drama that’s unfolded this season, which kicked off at the party. Dubrow was blindsided when both Jennifer Pedranti and Tamra Judge, castmates she thought she was on good terms with, questioned her authenticity. Our conversation was also a chance to look back at what being on the show’s major anniversary season means.
This is Dubrow’s 10th season total, with a four-year hiatus in between stints. Through it all, she’s proven an assassin’s ability to call her castmates to account, all with a warm smile, an endearing vulnerability about motherhood and marriage, and an unflappable desire to, regardless of drama, throw a party.
After 20 years of Real Housewives? This is the biggest celebration yet.
I would imagine that the experience of being on the show always falls on a spectrum of hectic, emotional, and fun. Does it feel different with the 20-year milestone orbiting around this season?
I don’t know if it’s because it’s 20. Maybe. When I came back in Season 16, the show for everyone, for me, too, felt very disorganized. I didn’t know that many people that were there, and it didn’t feel like this cohesive group. I think walking out of the reunion last year and having that conversation on the couches about how we need to move forward in a different way really resonated with everyone. When we came back, everyone felt more relaxed and ready to have a good time and enjoy each other in a different way.
Seeing the Tres Amigas [former friends turned enemies Gunvalson, Judge, and Shannon Beador] make some trace of peace seems to confirm that.
I mean, you can’t just keep fighting about stuff from the past. At some point you have to go, “Here’s where we are.” I think that it’s nice to show each other and show the audience that you can move on. Everyone talks about conflict and resolution in our show. But I think the resolution isn’t talked about enough.
That’s a very true point. Especially among non-watchers who have a certain view of Real Housewives.
I think everyone talks about the conflict of, “Oh, the drama, the drama, the drama.” OK, great. But in people’s lives, we all have drama, whether it’s at the grocery store cashier, in the parking lot, in our families, or in our friend groups. But really being able to move on and show people that allows people at home to go, “OK, maybe I can move on with stuff. Maybe I can have a second chapter. If I’m at my rock bottom, maybe this isn’t the end.”
As much fun as it is to watch the table flipping and the pointing of the fingers and all, it is nice to have the cathartic breath of fresh air when there is healing and people are getting along. At Emily Simpson’s drag bingo birthday party, it was incredibly profound, in a way people may not associate with Housewives, to see everyone share lessons they’ve learned about getting older.
I think this season we have a good balance of that sort of thing. I think that some of the new franchises are so fraught with fighting and this vitriol that we lose those moments. When you’ve known us for this many years, you feel like we’re friends. It lands differently.
It’s so nice seeing Vicki back full-time.
It’s funny to me because we were all there when she got her orange back. We all cried. We were so excited. Right before we started filming, I texted her. I was like, “Welcome back. So excited,” whatever. And then in her confessional, you saw that she said, “Heather texted me to say welcome back, and I’m the leader of the pack.” I never said that. I would never say that. But then Tamra was on Watch What Happens Live last week.
And they did the poll asking the viewers who is the show’s leader of the pack. Yep, I saw.
I won with 53 percent. So there you go, b---h.
You didn’t text it. But you manifested it.
Apparently.
How do you think you’re most different now than when you were first on the show?
That’s so funny because I’m on Watch What Happens Live this week, and Andy [Cohen] said to me, “I love how unbothered you are.” I go, “Am I?” Because I never really feel unbothered. Yeah. He’s like, “No, you just seem very unbothered.” I think when I first started, I was a scripted actress. Actors did not do reality TV. I was the first actor. I mean, Kyle Richards is an actress. I’m not taking that away from her, but she was a former child actress when she joined.
When I joined, it was like, “You’re a what? She’s an actress?” It was so hard for me. I thought, “I’m never working again. Everyone thinks this is a terrible idea. What am I doing?” I mean, I am a little buttoned up and fancy and all those things, but I was nervous. And when I first meet someone... You know, I met these girls, and they were talking about, like, b---jobs and all these things. That wasn’t my world.
It’s not what you go to first when you meet new people.
For me, you meet someone, you get to know them first. And it’s not like I’m a prude and I’ve never heard bad words, or I’ve never talked about a b---job or whatever it is. But not in the first 10 minutes, and not even in the first month. You have to be different kinds of friends with people. So I was on my own journey. Now, I’m a bit of a different animal. And I’ve been friends with these women for a long time.
That’s interesting what you said about Andy noticing you’re unbothered. I would imagine that even if you evolve to handle situations on a reality show calmly, when people are talking about you behind your back, that does still have to be bothersome. Like this season, Tamra and Jen talking about how you change your personality based on who you’re with and you’re not an authentic friend.
It’s bulls--t. By the way, doesn’t everyone change their personality depending on who they’re with? Do you have the same conversation with the CVS checkout person as you do with the doorman of your building, then with your brother, then with your significant other? I mean, like, of course you’re different with different people. That is like the dumbest thing ever.
So it is hard to remain unbothered.
It’s so bothersome, something like that from somebody you’ve known for so long. And especially the Jen stuff. The Jen stuff was mind-boggling to me. In between seasons, we hung out together, we talked, we had dinner with our husbands. We never talked about cameras one time, not one time. And then as soon as cameras pick up: “How do you feel about Tamra? Define your relationship with Tamra. What are you gonna say to Tamra? How do you feel?” That is such gaslighting. That was really bothersome, especially when I thought Jen and I had gotten closer. Then I was also bothered to see Tamra just take what she said at face value.
It’s hurtful.
It is. I feel like this group is just so willing to believe the worst about me. Why do you think that is?
Wow. Um, I would venture it might be because, with the events that you’re able to throw and this polished look that you have, they might be intimidated. The only thing I can imagine is they’re overwhelmed by stories about wealth or the fact that you’re put together, or that your marriage is healthy.
I think when you are friends with someone and you love them, you forgive their foibles and their idiosyncrasies and all those kinds of things. But if you wanna find stuff and you wanna be irritated, we’ve all got those. But there’s plenty of people that love me for my foibles and idiosyncrasies. Right?
There was a social media video from the Season 20 premiere red carpet where everyone in the cast was asked who is going to be in the hot seat at the reunion, and you got the most responses. Does that surprise you?
I think it’ll be interesting to see what happens because, for example, Season 17 was very difficult for me. Every event I went to, everyone was just always coming after me. They probably would have all said that that year too, and that didn’t age well for them.
Haha. That’s a good point.
The first half of this season was very difficult for me. I feel like I’m held to a different standard than the rest of the cast. I think there are double standards in how we are all treated amongst our group. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I need to watch it back and go, “Wow, I really messed up there.” I don’t know. I will tell you, in general, I’m not manipulative. I’m not out to hurt anyone. I don’t do things on purpose. I might irritate people. Who doesn’t, right? I’m living my life and doing my thing. If that irritates someone, then maybe you’re just not the right friend for me.
