At the end of a week in which hundreds of people rallied outside of a Staten Island bar to protest COVID lockdown measures, there really wasn’t anyone better to share his take than The King of Staten Island himself, Pete Davidson.
The comedian began by joking that when he saw people were “outside the bar shouting about freedom, taunting the cops and chanting that they should arrest the governor,” he thought it was just a “typical last call.” While he’s only “kind of” against the protests, Davidson said he’s mostly just happy he’s “no longer the first thing people think of when they say, ‘What’s the worst thing about Staten Island?’”
“Well, the bar, shockingly, is in a neighborhood with the second highest COVID infections in all of New York, so the rule is that they’re only supposed to let people eat or drink outside,” he explained. “And the owner said, no one wants to do that because they’ll go out of business. But the argument that people in Staten Island don’t want to drink outside can be disproven by going to literally any Little League game.”
Next, Davidson noted that one man at the protest compared not being able to drink indoors to being Jewish during the Holocaust, “which must have been awkward for the people there who had to suddenly pretend they believed in the Holocaust.”
He then accused the protesters of making Staten Islanders like himself “look like babies,” adding, “You know it’s bad when people in Boston are like, ‘Ahh, drink at home, you queers!’”
Finally, Davidson used his “Weekend Update” platform to address the “thousands of people on Twitter who are extremely angry” that he will be playing George Bailey in a virtual table read of It’s a Wonderful Life for charity next week.
“It’s an old-timey film about a guy who’s suicidal,” he said. “I’m famously depressed and I have the complexion of someone in a black and white movie.” If it was an “actual remake” of the classic film, Davidson said he’d agree that it was an “odd casting choice.”
“It would be like rebooting The Godfather with Post Malone,” he joked. “He’ll make you an offer you can’t understand.”
And in one final message to the MAGA-loving residents of Staten Island, he signed off with, “Biden won, get over it!”
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